And now, time to address some comments

This past week has been a hectic one, which means that I’ve had little to no time to come up with a topic and write. For this reason I decided that instead of posting something new I will instead respond to some comments made to me about my previous posts.

My Bathtub and Me:

After reading this blog post, a friend of mine asked if I knew what sex was at the time I first started masturbating. I can pretty much affirm that I had NO clue what sex was, or that having “urges” to satisfy yourself meant that you were horny. I did what I did because it felt good to me and I wasn’t hurting myself, or anyone else for that matter. But after my mom caught me I knew that I wasn’t supposed to do it, I just wasn’t aware as to why it was something wrong to do.

Another friend thanked me for being honest about the age I was when I started masturbating. Although, he thanked me because he felt guilty for having done the same thing and felt like he wasn’t alone. I’m pretty sure that there are more of us that started humping, grinding, and touching ourselves at a young age; we just probably don’t remember it. Maybe, due to being caught by our parents and being reprimanded, we stopped making ourselves feel good and repressed those memories. Whatever the case may be, I’m almost certain that my friend and I are not alone when it comes to doing things at a young age that makes our bodies feel good.

The Doc Johnson I-Vibe Rabbit aka My First Vibrator!:

One friend pointed out that I didn’t mention that I broke my first Rabbit. As I re-read that blog post I noticed that I did mention that I had to replace it because I had over used it. Well, I guess my friend wanted me to be a little more obvious about that fact.

After owning the Rabbit for just about over a year, I wore out the motor on my beloved toy. I tried to take it apart to see if there was anything I could do to try to fix it, but I wasn’t a mechanical engineer and failed at my attempt to fix my Rabbit. I didn’t know that you can overuse a toy; I think that’s probably why I have several now, so that I can rotate them and not worry about wearing them down.

Sexual Assault Awareness Month:

After I posted this story I’ve had a number of people open up about the times that they were sexually assaulted. One person in particular opened up about the trauma that she’s still experiencing from her assault. She feels that her marriage is suffering sexually because there are certain sexual acts that can trigger a memory of the assault. Because of that she and her husband haven’t really been able to expand their sexual horizons. Also, she sometimes feels disgusting during sex, and a bit guilty if she enjoys it, which are all feelings that she has recognized come from the trauma of the attack. She recommended I touch on that topic, enjoying sex after an attack, in a future post, which I definitely plan on doing.

The War on Women:

I was surprised that I didn’t get any feedback, whether it be on one side of the political spectrum or the other, on this post. I think that I’ll just leave this one alone.

Virginity:This blog post opened up a whole can of worms with multiple ex-partners. I’ve had at the VERY least five different people contact me and either try to buddy up with me, apologize, or just express concern about the possibility of being subject matter for a future post. I’m going to say this, I will definitely not be naming names, and only you, and my VERY close friends, will know when I write about you. Every experience I have had is fair game for future posts. Now, I don’t intend on just talking crap about everyone, that’s not the person that I am, and that’s not my style. What I do plan on doing is being honest. If you were an asshole and I had great sex with you then I will post that you were an asshole and I had great sex with you. If you were a sweetheart and we had vanilla sex, then I’ll probably post that you were a sweetheart but the sex just wasn’t that great.

I’ve had a variety of sexual experiences that were paired up with a wide range of personalities. I have also gotten my heart a little broken on numerous occasions, but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to tear you a new one. My suggestion, if after reading this you still have reason to be afraid of what I might post, then I think that that’s saying more about you than it is about me.

The Layaspot by Fun Factory, Your BFF on Long Car Rides:Yes, I do drive with this toy. I did not fabricate that story. I also use it when I’m at home sitting at my desk and using my computer. I’ve also recommended this toy to my friends and family more than any other; that might have something to do with some women preferring clitoral stimulation and how versatile this toy is.

Talk Dirty to Me:

It was suggested that I include where you do and do not like to be licked to the list of topics you and your partner should talk about. The list I posted was definitely not an extensive one, so feel free to add topics of conversation that best fit you and your partner.

I’m pretty sure that I addressed all of the important comments that were made about those particular posts. If you have anything else to add please feel free to let me know.

Until next time, stay excited!

***If you have a story you would like to share please email me. Also, if you have any suggestions for future adult toy reviews, topics, or questions please feel free to post them in the comments section or email me at DilDosNDilDonts@gmail.com***

Sexual Assault Awareness Month

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and it seems only right to bring to light some of the statistics. Sexual assault against women is not just an unfortunate occurrence as much as it is more of a common fact, particularly when looking at the data. According to Feminist.com, "22 million women in the United States have been raped in their lifetime." Rainn.org reports "there is an average of 207,754 victims (age 12 or older) of sexual assault each year" and “97% of rapists will never spend a day in jail." These tragic numbers are all too real for a friend of mine who I interviewed for this blog post.

My friend, who I will call Amanda, graciously agreed to talk to me about her tragic experiences so that I may share them in the blog. The first time she was ever assaulted was before she was even in elementary school. Amanda recalls being fondled and rubbed up against by the sons of her grandmother’s friend, whom they would frequently visit. Confused by the situation, Amanda never told anyone about these attacks; so this innocent child had to continue to live with these attacks in silence.

As she got older, the attacks got worse. As a pre-teen, Amanda lived with her grandmother and her grandmother’s two stepsons. The younger boy, who was about eight years Amanda’s senior, began to sexually assault her by doing the same things the sons of her grandmother’s friend would do; he would touch her and rub up against her. These attacks happened for years, but the real shocking and unexpected attack occurred one day when she was eleven-years-old. She was home alone and doing dishes, when the eldest stepson came home. Amanda wasn’t sure if he was drunk or high, but he just came into the house, turned off the kitchen light, and proceeded to force himself on her. A few minutes into the attack, her grandmother walked into the house. She knew that something was wrong, but didn’t bother to investigate or ask Amanda if everything was ok. This lack of investigation by her grandmother, or the consistent attacks by the younger stepson coupled with the attack by the eldest son, were too much for a child to handle and Amanda began running away from home; this was the quickest solution to get the attacks to stop.

On one of the occasions in which she ran away, Amanda ran into an uncle, who was only about nineteen years old. He told her that she should stay with him, that if she was going to run away then she should stay with family, which would be safer. At this point in Amanda’s life, after so many attacks, she had begun drinking heavily, and this particular night was no different. She and her uncle started drinking, and at one point Amanda blacked out. When she finally came-to she was in a bed in a dark room, with the Gorillaz playing loudly on the radio. A few moments later she realized that her pants were off, then she felt her uncle’s face in between her legs. She tried to kick him off, but he over-powered her, and all attempts to get free from his grasp seemed futile, and that was when the rape happened. Amanda recalls that her uncle seemed to have gone mad. During the entire ordeal he kept telling her how much he loved her, and had always loved her. He also stated to her that he wanted them to get married and her to be the mother of his children.

After all was said and done, Amanda’s uncle refused to let her leave his home. For three days, not only was she a victim of rape, but also was kidnapped by her rapist. He missed work, would make her sit on the toilet while he showered, and was not allowed near the door. On the third day, she bolted to the front door and managed to get free. Once out the door she ran. Amanda ran until she couldn’t run anymore and stopped in the middle of the street. When the cops approached her she began to cry uncontrollably. Unable to calm her down, the cops waited until her family arrived. Her family told the cops that she would be all right and that this was just one of her tantrums, but nobody knew what she had endured those past three days. Even years after this incident there are still only two or three other people know what really happened.

I asked Amanda if she ever thought of reporting these attacks, or if it would give her closure to report the attacks, especially the rape and kidnapping. She calmly stated that she wouldn’t report the attacks because she didn’t want to stir up any drama. Oddly enough, I understand. I know that there are many people reading this and thinking that she should still report it, but this is a choice that she has made. She didn’t have a choice when she was sexually assaulted, but this is one thing that she does have control over, and she chooses to not report this. Amanda is very much aware that she is contributing to the statistic, but she is still dealing with the repercussions of the attacks.

In my opinion, for her to share this story with me so that I may post it in a public forum, even if it is anonymously, is a big step. I think that one of the reasons she was willing to share her story was because I told her that it was Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and in the spirit of awareness decided to recall these tragic events. My homework for everybody reading this who has younger siblings, young nieces, or young daughters, is talk to them about their bodies. Let them know that it’s not ok for other people to touch them where they don’t want to be touched. Most importantly, though, let them know that it’s ok for them to talk to you if anything should ever happen to them. Encourage them to talk to you if they feel like someone violated them in some way. Let Amanda’s story not become someone else’s story; that of a young girl who was afraid to share her tragic attacks. Amanda is in her mid-twenties and is still healing from these atrocities. Maybe, if she felt that there was a safe environment for her to share her story when she was younger, she might have never had to endure so much pain. I will say this about Amanda, and other women that are survivors of such attacks, they are strong women that still find the power to push through.

Until next time, stay excited! But most importantly, stay safe!

If you have a story you would like to share please email me. Also, if you have any suggestions for future reviews, topics, or questions please feel free to post it in the comments section or email me at DilDosNDilDonts@gmail.com.

If you, or someone you know has been a victim of any kind of sexual assault, please call RAINN's (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) hotline at 1.800.656.HOPE (1.800.656.4673).