SmartBalls, Keeping Your Vag Strong!

To my readers in the US, Happy Independence Day! To everyone else, Happy Hump Day!

Today I'm going to be reviewing FunFactory's Smartball Teneo Duo. This toy is meant to strengthen your Pubococcygeus muscle (also known as your PC or pelvic floor muscles) by forcing you to contract these muscles and give them a workout. In other words, it assists with you doing your kegel exercises by providing you with something to squeeze.

When I first got my Smartballs I was visiting my mom in Los Angeles and went to a sex shop for a comedy show, after which I decided to purchase a few things. I had been wanting some kegel exercise aides for a while, so I was really excited to buy these. Unfortunately, I had to wait a week before using them since I wasn't about to walk around with them inside of me while I was around my mom. As soon as I got back to Portland, where I was living at the time, I immediately unpacked my Smartballs, washed them with warm water and soap, applied some of the water-based lube that was included on the Smartballs, and then inserted them. I have to admit that I didn't enjoy them being inside me at first. I could feel them in there and if was a bit uncomfortable. I decided to just suck it up, leave them in there, and take my dog to the dog park, which was not a good idea.

While at the park I felt like I could barely walk because the balls were just not working that well for me, and I wasn't sure why. After about a half-hour, I went back home and took them out. As I was pulling the string to get the balls out, I realized that the last ball was not inserted all the way, which probably had a lot to do with my discomfort level. Either way, I sort of was not too happy with them and decided to put them away and get to packing, since I was going to be moving to the Bay area in a few days.

The second time I used my Smartballs, which was a few weeks after my first use, I changed things up a bit. The first thing I did was just insert the first ball. (Side note: FunFactory sells a Teneo Uno SmartBall if you're not planning on ever putting both of the balls in). I allowed my vagina to get accustomed to just having one ball in there while I squeezed my PC muscles. I did this for a bout 20 minutes before calling it a day with the Smartballs. This time, the experience was a lot more pleasant, but I had still not tried putting both balls in. I kept up this one Smartball regimen for about a week straight until I finally decided to woman up and give having both Smartballs in at the same time another try.

My second go at having both Smartballs inside of me went A LOT smoother. I didn't want to overwhelm myself, so I just had them inside for about a half-hour. The entire time I couldn't tell they were in there, but then again I was just sitting at home watching TV. The following day I decided to be a little more bold and wear them while I took the dog out for a walk. I have to say that it was the BEST dog walking experience I have ever had. Because the Smartballs are weighted they move around inside of you as you move, causing you to feel as if they will fall out and forcing your PC muscles to contract. Every now and then I could feel one of the balls hit my G-spot, which would constantly catch me by surprise in the most pleasant of ways.

One day, while I was getting ready to review the Layaspot, I decided to use my Smartballs while masturbating. This experience was stimulation overload. I didn't know why, and I didn't really care why, but my orgasm went everywhere in my body. Just as I was cumming my entire body began to twitch and spasm. Later on I realized that not only do the Smartballs strengthen your PC muscles so that your vagina can "hug" your male bodied partners when they are inside of you, but it also makes you extra sensitive, at least for me. At times I go a few weeks without using the Smartballs, and I have noticed that my orgasms tend to get a less and less powerful as time passes between my last use. Right now I'm trying to build up the courage to wear them while at work. When I do end up doing this I'll be sure to let you all know how that experience goes.

Yes, when I first used the Smartballs they were uncomfortable, and I was sort of turned off from wanting to use them again, but I am now a big believer in the power of the Smartballs and the benefits of kegel exercises. If I would have started this blog months ago I probably would have given this toy a "DilDon't", but with a little patience, and use with other toys, I am now giving this toy a resounding DILDO!!!

A quick caveat before I finish, the Smartballs are not intended for anal play. You should never insert any toys into your anus that does not have a flared end. The string at the end of the Smartballs feels a little too flimsy to me, and if you were to insert the Smartballs into your anus and then the string broke, there's a possibility that you might end up making a bit of an embarrassing trip to the ER in order to get them taken out.

Until next time, stay excited!




***If you have a story you would like to share please email me. Also, if you have any suggestions for future adult toy reviews, topics, or questions please feel free to post them in the comments section or email me at DilDosNDilDonts@gmail.com***

My mom and the blog

I was going to post about anal sex today but a conversation I was having last night made me decided to leave that for next week and write about telling my mom about this blog. Whenever I go and visit my mom, I sometimes bring up the topic of sex, not because I want to make her squirm, but because I feel like this is a challenge for me. I have never been comfortable talking to my mom about sex, particularly because when she found out I wasn’t a virgin she started to cry. Needless to say that I was heartbroken and exceedingly annoyed by her reaction, which resulted in me never wanting to talk to my mom about sex, until I started the blog.

I have been trying to be as open as I can about the blog, including with my family. My mom, who is the most important member in my family, along with my grandma and aunt, is aware that I have a blog that revolves around sex, but she doesn’t know how personal I get with my
blog posts.

This past December, when I was visiting my mother in Los Angeles, I told her that I was going out to go watch a comedy show. What I failed to mention was that this comedy show was at the Pleasure Chest, an adult toy store, and that I was planning on purchasing a few items while I was there. When I got back from being out, I showed my mother what I purchased; a mini padlocked chest and Smartballs by Fun Factory (which will be reviewed next month). I began explaining to my mom that I was going to begin writing a blog. Well, first I had to explain what a blog is and how everyone would be able to read the content of my blog. The next step, which was a bit harder, was explaining what the actual content would be. As I began to explain that I would be reviewing adult toys, I could see my mom’s scowl just getting scarier. When I finished, she just looked at me in disgust. I have to admit that I felt a little heart broken, but mainly because I didn’t know that my mom would object so much to my use of toys. That’s right; her reason for not being pleased about the blog wasn’t necessarily that I was going to be writing reviews about these toys, but that I was masturbating and using toys. At that point I sat my mom down for a little talk about modern day women’s health and sexuality.

Explaining to my mother that masturbation is healthy is tricky, particularly because she’s a traditional Central-American female that was raised Baptist. I tried to make her relate to any sexual urges she might have had, or might still have, but I think that my mom is now asexual. This woman would just not budge. All she kept saying was that masturbation was disgusting and a lady should not do that; I might or might not have let out a burst of laughter after she said that. This is the woman that makes an entire room laugh with her dirty jokes. A woman whose humor is so crude that if you were to hear some of her jokes you would understand where I get it from, I’m sure that my cousins who read this can attest to that. Well, when trying to have a serious conversation with one’s mother it’s probably not good to laugh at some of the stuff they say. Either way, I digress. I tried to help my mom accept that masturbation was healthy, so I put things for her the following way; would she rather I sleep around with various men until I am sexually satisfied OR just masturbate and reach that sexual satisfaction without any worries of a condom breaking, potentially contracting STDs, or even worse, becoming pregnant. As badly as my mother wants grandbabies, she finally conceded, BUT that didn’t mean that she was happy that I was writing about this. I decided to just leave it at that, for the time being, but my pursuit to change her mind about sex has only just begun.

Until next time, stay excited!



***If you have a story you would like to share please email me. Also, if you have any suggestions for future adult toy reviews, topics, or questions please feel free to post them in the comments section or email me at DilDosNDilDonts@gmail.com***

And now, time to address some comments

This past week has been a hectic one, which means that I’ve had little to no time to come up with a topic and write. For this reason I decided that instead of posting something new I will instead respond to some comments made to me about my previous posts.

My Bathtub and Me:

After reading this blog post, a friend of mine asked if I knew what sex was at the time I first started masturbating. I can pretty much affirm that I had NO clue what sex was, or that having “urges” to satisfy yourself meant that you were horny. I did what I did because it felt good to me and I wasn’t hurting myself, or anyone else for that matter. But after my mom caught me I knew that I wasn’t supposed to do it, I just wasn’t aware as to why it was something wrong to do.

Another friend thanked me for being honest about the age I was when I started masturbating. Although, he thanked me because he felt guilty for having done the same thing and felt like he wasn’t alone. I’m pretty sure that there are more of us that started humping, grinding, and touching ourselves at a young age; we just probably don’t remember it. Maybe, due to being caught by our parents and being reprimanded, we stopped making ourselves feel good and repressed those memories. Whatever the case may be, I’m almost certain that my friend and I are not alone when it comes to doing things at a young age that makes our bodies feel good.

The Doc Johnson I-Vibe Rabbit aka My First Vibrator!:

One friend pointed out that I didn’t mention that I broke my first Rabbit. As I re-read that blog post I noticed that I did mention that I had to replace it because I had over used it. Well, I guess my friend wanted me to be a little more obvious about that fact.

After owning the Rabbit for just about over a year, I wore out the motor on my beloved toy. I tried to take it apart to see if there was anything I could do to try to fix it, but I wasn’t a mechanical engineer and failed at my attempt to fix my Rabbit. I didn’t know that you can overuse a toy; I think that’s probably why I have several now, so that I can rotate them and not worry about wearing them down.

Sexual Assault Awareness Month:

After I posted this story I’ve had a number of people open up about the times that they were sexually assaulted. One person in particular opened up about the trauma that she’s still experiencing from her assault. She feels that her marriage is suffering sexually because there are certain sexual acts that can trigger a memory of the assault. Because of that she and her husband haven’t really been able to expand their sexual horizons. Also, she sometimes feels disgusting during sex, and a bit guilty if she enjoys it, which are all feelings that she has recognized come from the trauma of the attack. She recommended I touch on that topic, enjoying sex after an attack, in a future post, which I definitely plan on doing.

The War on Women:

I was surprised that I didn’t get any feedback, whether it be on one side of the political spectrum or the other, on this post. I think that I’ll just leave this one alone.

Virginity:This blog post opened up a whole can of worms with multiple ex-partners. I’ve had at the VERY least five different people contact me and either try to buddy up with me, apologize, or just express concern about the possibility of being subject matter for a future post. I’m going to say this, I will definitely not be naming names, and only you, and my VERY close friends, will know when I write about you. Every experience I have had is fair game for future posts. Now, I don’t intend on just talking crap about everyone, that’s not the person that I am, and that’s not my style. What I do plan on doing is being honest. If you were an asshole and I had great sex with you then I will post that you were an asshole and I had great sex with you. If you were a sweetheart and we had vanilla sex, then I’ll probably post that you were a sweetheart but the sex just wasn’t that great.

I’ve had a variety of sexual experiences that were paired up with a wide range of personalities. I have also gotten my heart a little broken on numerous occasions, but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to tear you a new one. My suggestion, if after reading this you still have reason to be afraid of what I might post, then I think that that’s saying more about you than it is about me.

The Layaspot by Fun Factory, Your BFF on Long Car Rides:Yes, I do drive with this toy. I did not fabricate that story. I also use it when I’m at home sitting at my desk and using my computer. I’ve also recommended this toy to my friends and family more than any other; that might have something to do with some women preferring clitoral stimulation and how versatile this toy is.

Talk Dirty to Me:

It was suggested that I include where you do and do not like to be licked to the list of topics you and your partner should talk about. The list I posted was definitely not an extensive one, so feel free to add topics of conversation that best fit you and your partner.

I’m pretty sure that I addressed all of the important comments that were made about those particular posts. If you have anything else to add please feel free to let me know.

Until next time, stay excited!

***If you have a story you would like to share please email me. Also, if you have any suggestions for future adult toy reviews, topics, or questions please feel free to post them in the comments section or email me at DilDosNDilDonts@gmail.com***

The Layaspot by Fun Factory, Your BFF on long car rides

 

Two Fridays ago I was stuck in some of the crappiest traffic one could ever be stuck in. What is normally about an hour commute turned into a three and a half hour NIGHTMARE! The entire time that I was on the road I was thinking of how I could have somewhat enjoyed this frustrating situation had I just brought my Layaspot with me. Well, needless to say, ever since that day, I have not left home without it, just in case I find myself in another traffic jam from hell.

The Layaspot, by Fun Factory, is a waterproof, ergonomic and powerful external vibrator that comes in a plethora of colors and has a “little motor that could” that is sure to pleasure your erogenous zone. Crafted in Germany, with elastomed, the hypo-allergenic material is both soft to the touch and easy to clean. The great thing about this toy is its easy-to-use functions. To turn it on simply press and hold the + button, and to experience any of the eight vibration intensities simply continue to press the same button. After you have reached the maximum vibration level, press and hold the + button again to experience any of the three different pulsations. To turn it off press the – button until you get to the lowest vibration intensity then press and hold until the toy turns off. 

Because of the ergonomic shape, driving while using this toy is easy; hell, sitting with it in general is easy (I may or may not be using my Layaspot as I write this). Whenever I speak to friends or family about driving with the Layaspot I get looks of concern. One of the questions I’m constantly asked is, “won’t you get into a car accident because you’re not concentrating?” which is a valid concern. The truth is that I am fully capable of multi-tasking. My eyes never leave the road, and the excitement of masturbating in public makes the experience extra sensual and fun. Needless to say, the times that I have used it on my way to work have resulted in me being in a lighter mood while at work. On a few occasions, when I didn’t use it on my drive to work, I would use the Layaspot while on my way home due to a headache. I would arrive home headache free and ready to take my dog out on a hike.

Another advantage to the shape of the Layaspot is how easy it is to use with a partner, particularly a male-bodied partner. Any position where the female is laying down during penetration allows the Layaspot to rest on the clitoris. If the toy is being used during a missionary position, the man’s body weight can even assist in the added pressure of the Layaspot on the clitoris, therefore enhancing the sensation.

One of the few cons about this toy is that, for it’s size, it’s a fairly pricey toy, ranging between $45 to about $60. It’s not a rechargeable toy, so rechargeable batteries are HIGHLY recommended; I went through at least three different battery charges in the month of April. Also, although the Fun Factory touts the silence of the motor, I feel that the toy is still fairly loud for how small it is. But then again, that’s the small price to pay for how powerful the Layaspot is.

The Layaspot by Fun Factory is probably my favorite small vibe. I felt that the monetary investment I made in this toy was very much worth it. This vibrator definitely gets a big “DilDo” and is also highly recommended by yours truly.

If you own a Layaspot, let me know your thoughts on this product in the comments section.

Until next time, stay excited!

If you have a story you would like to share please email me. Also, if you have ay suggestions for future adult toy reviews, topics, or questions please feel free to post them in the comments section or email me at DilDosNDilDonts@gmail.com.