My Hitachi Magic Wand... a love letter

When I first started planning my “blogging comeback” a made a list of toys that would be perfect to review. What was on that list varied from couples toys, bullets, dildo vibrators, and all sorts of other fun stuff. In the end, I decided to go with the the grandmother of all things that give pleasure... the Hitachi Magic Wand!!!! (In my head there was an “announcer's” echo as I typed that out).

When I first brought home The Magic Wand, which I have named Butch and will refer to it as such from now on, I was so excited that I almost couldn’t get it out of the packaging fast enough so that I can take it out for a “drive”. I closed my blinds, plugged Butch in, laid down on the bed and was about to go to town when I turned it on and realized why it has received all of the accolades it has. The intensity of the motor was exceedingly titillating, but the deafening  sound of the motor made me really self-cautious. I seriously felt like my neighbors could hear what I was doing. I turned on some music, to mask the sound of the motor, but I still couldn’t stop thinking about it. I began to imagine how embarrassing it would be if I was using it at night (which is my favorite time to handle my needs, before going to bed), and my landlord, whose bedroom is atop of mine, could hear what I was doing. After ten minutes of using Butch, and these thoughts going through my head, I finally came. The experience wasn’t bad, but I couldn’t get over the loudness of the motor. I was used to vibrators that are really quite, and ones in which the packaging boasts about the lack of noise.

Two weeks pass, and every time I use Butch I try to muffle the sound with pillows, blankets and by having the television on. But then, one day, when I was sitting at home and could hear my landlord having sex, I realized that I don’t really care if he could hear me. Since then, my experience with Butch has gotten a lot better. Now I don’t need to use it for ten minutes before I cum, I’m right around the five minute mark at the moment.

The entire time, during the first two weeks of using Butch, I wasn’t really judging the effectiveness of the Wand to bring me to orgasm; I was judging the sound it made and was over thinking about it so much that it was preventing me from enjoying this amazing toy. The vibrations are exceedingly powerful, even on the low setting, which I don’t believe in because I either go big or don’t use it at all. Either way, I have finally come to appreciate the power of this toy, and I also fully agree that it deserves every single accolade it has received thus far.

Now for the nitty gritty details:

The Magic Wand measures 12.5 inches, and weighs about 1 / 1.5 lbs. What I love most about the Magic Wand is how I never have to worry about batteries, whether it’s replacing them or recharging them. You plug this amazing toy to the wall and just turn it on and bask in all its glory. There are two settings to the Magic Wand, High and Low, and the head of the wand is designed for external use, on the cllitoris. Although, I guess if you want, one can potentially insert it, but I don’t recommend doing so unless you put a condom over the Wand.

The head of the wand is made of what appears to be a leather type of material, or it can just be soft plastic, which are both porous. If you are going to use one of these on your lady parts please make sure that you ALWAYS put a condom over it. No matter how much you clean it, it will never be clean enough to place over your vulva, unless you boil the top clean, which I’m sure you will not want to do unless you want to risk potentially throwing away $60. I opted to purchase a silicone Pop Top (pictured below with my wand), which is cheaper than constantly purchasing condoms (unless you always just grab a handful of condoms from your local gay bar as I have). 

The Pop Top did muffle some of the vibrations, though. If you don't require such a high intensity in vibrations as yours truly, then I think that anyone with a Wand should go to their local toy store and purchase one of those bad boys. They come in three different colors, and each color has a different texture; ridged, knob-ly, and smooth. It is designed to have a snug fit over the head of your wand, so putting it on at first might take a few minutes, but taking it on and off to clean it gets easier. Also, it helps to prevent wear and tear on the top of your wand. 

Pros:
- No batteries required
- Strong vibrations
- Can be used for other areas, like lower back (I have tons of lower back pains)

Cons:
- Loud
- Top is made of porous material and requires a condom or purchase of a silicone top
- A foot long

Honestly, those cons aren't even a big deal, even the loudness of the wand. The Hitachi Magic Wand gets a very long awaited "DilDo" from me. I'm so glad I decided to buy this great toy. 

Until next time, stay excited! 






***If you have a story you would like to share please email me. If you would like to make a donation, please do so by using the secure PayPal "DONATE" button on the top right of the website. Also, if you have any suggestions for future adult toy reviews, topics, or questions please feel free to post them in the comments section or email me at DilDosNDilDonts@gmail.com***

RAPE

Readers, I have a confession to make; I haven't been honest with any of you. Yes, I started the blog because I wanted to increase my toy collection, and because I wanted to partake in all the women's health issues dialogues that are currently taking place in this election year; but the real reason, though, is because a year ago today I was raped. In thinking about bringing this blog into fruition, I felt that getting my rape story "out there" would help to ease my pain.

Before I begin, I know that many of my friends read this blog, and chances are that most of you know who my attacker was. I ask you to please not confront this person if you do indeed figure out who it was. For those that don't know, please don't ask. I'm writing this as a form of therapy for myself with the hopes of letting all of that go and moving on with my life as soon as it is posted.

I've had a total of two traumatic experiences in my life, and all within under two years of each other. The first was the loss of my little sister, which took me down a dark and lonely path in which I pulled away from everyone. My second experience, my rape, has taken me down a dark and lonely path from which I've been pulling away from the person I once was.

I  had a friend from Los Angeles visiting me back when I was living in Portland. He was nearing the end of his second week stay in Oregon; he split his time between Portland and some other part of Oregon where he has family and went to go visit for a week. The entire time that he stayed with me he slept on my bed, while I slept on the futon, as I assumed any good host would do. He and I were both going to be leaving Portland that following Saturday morning; him back to LA, and me to San Francisco to visit some friends and go to a college football game.

I vividly remember everything that happened that day. It was Thursday, September 29, 2011, and I went to work like any other day. I was "seeing" someone at the time and, as we sometimes did, he and I were chatting back and forth. After opening up to my friend who was visiting, I decided to take his advice and put all my cards on the table with this guy I was seeing. I asked him, point blank, where I fit in his busy life. I should have figured things out by that point; I hadn't seen him in a while, about a month, and our only method of communication was via IM. Things had obviously not been moving forward, and they weren't going to. Unfortunately, though, I'm a bit of a masochist and needed to hear from him, directly, that things had gone as far as they were going to go in the "relationship." To my dismay, all I was told was that his intent was not to place me in a holding pattern. I wanted more clarification on that statement, but I didn't receive any.

Dejected and rejected, I knew that I wanted to go out and forget about it all. My friend and I decided to go karaoke at my favorite "hole in the wall" karaoke place. He drank, I sang, and he opened up about how in love he was with my best friend. He hated the fact that she was seeing a "white boy", as he put it, and didn't bother to give him a chance. I told him that he needed to stop being so prejudiced and just accept the fact that she was happy. The entire evening was this same scenario until we closed down the bar; I sang and moped, he drank and continued to profess his love for my best friend. On our drive back to my place, he continued to tell me how much he loved my friend. I was slightly annoyed, but mostly amused by his drunk rantings.

We went into my apartment, and as I locked the door behind me, he proceeded to kissed me. At first I just let it happen, mainly because I used to have a crush on this person, but I quickly came to my senses, and remember how in love he was with my best friend, and pushed him away. He apologized and I told him that we should go to bed. At this point, he stopped me and told me that he felt guilty for taking up my bed and that I should just sleep in my room that night; he would sleep on one side of the bed and me on the other. Not thinking much about it, and quite frankly tired of being uncomfortable on the futon, I decided to sleep in my room with him.

After I put on my pajamas, I want into the room and lay on the bed. At this point, he jumped on top of me and began making out with me once again, but added some groping. I pushed him off and got up from the bed. On my way out the bedroom, he stopped me, apologized, promised to not make any more advances on me and convinced me to come back to the bed. That was the worst decision of my life.

As I came back to my bed, he pinned me down and proceeded to rip off my pajama bottoms and underwear. He went down on me, briefly, but long enough to hurt my vulva; I believe that he bit me while he was down there. Then, without a condom, he proceeded to rape me. It wasn't long before I managed to finally break free from him, he probably got in only about two pumps, but the damage had been done. The entire time I was aware of the fact that it was really late at night and I didn't want to wake up my neighbors for some reason. So, although I was pleading for him to stop, and was attempting to physically push him away, I never raised my voice loud enough to wake up the neighbors.

After I got free, I grabbed my pajama bottoms and put them on. At this point, he said something that has continued to affect me; "you're friend doesn't want me, so now you don't want me?" I didn't want to hear any of this, so I rushed into the living room, wrapped myself in my blanked, and lay on the futon in the fetal position. A few moments later, he came into the living room. All he said was that he was sorry. I told him to leave me alone, that I had to be up early in the morning to go to work.

That night I cried more than I slept. Earlier that day I was rejected, then, after being told how much in love he was with my friend, I was violated in the worst way possible, followed by an attempt to feel guilty for not accepting his sexual advances. I was beside myself, and my mind and emotions were going a million miles an hour. I didn't know what my next move was going to be.

It's not until you've been attacked by someone you know, and considered to be a close friend, that you realize that sometimes you just can't make a simple decision to notify the authorities about your violation. What you want to do is nothing, because you feel like nothing. You feel insignificant, and in my case, only felt desired for sex, as if that was all I was good for. I confided in my two close friends about what transpired that previous night. Although, I wasn't completely honest about what happened. To them, I explained that what occurred was a sexual assault, and not a rape. It took me three to four months to acknowledge the fact that I was indeed raped. They advised me to kick him out of my apartment, but I wasn't sure about what I wanted to do.

On my lunch break, I went back to my apartment, as I normally do, and found that he was out walking my dog. While I was sitting on my couch, eating my lunch, he walked in and sat on the far end of the couch. He hung his head low and proceeded to explain that he didn't really remember what happened the previous night, but that he felt like he did something wrong and wanted to apologize for it. I told him what was on my mind at the moment, which was something close to the following:

"You made me feel so violated. The worst part was that this happened from you; someone whom I considered to be a close friend and whom I confided in. NO ONE has ever made me feel the way that you did last night. So insignificant. So vulnerable."

I thought that telling him that would make me feel better, but it didn't. After my lunch break, I went back to work and attempted to push through the day. After work, he and I barely spoke. He fell asleep on the futon that night, and I had no choice but to sleep on the bed that I was raped in the previous night. We both got up that following Saturday morning, finished packing, and drove to the airport. Since we were flying in separate airlines, I broke away from him and advanced to the security check point. I went through the metal detector, then just walked to my gate. Half-way to my gate, I receive a text from him apologizing about what transpired and him expressing his desire to continue our friendship. My response to him was honest; "I don't know if you've lost my friendship, but I need my space." He apologized once more, and thanked me for letting him stay with me.

Since the rape, I learned that I got an STI, which only added to my feelings of self-loathing. Fortunately, everything was treated and I'm now fine, but at the damage has been done and I still feel disgusting, and even more undesirable. I don't consider the rape to be a sexual encounter, but because of it I haven't had a sexual encounter since my last one, which took place in July, about a little over a month before the rape. My trust issues with men have gotten worse, and I have noticed that my depression has also taken a turn for the worst in terms of its frequency. But after talking to my therapist, I decided that I would share my story on here with the hope that it would help someone who has gone through such an ordeal, or for others to see that it can happen to anyone.

If there's anything that I would like for you all to take away from my experience is that this can happen to anyone. And men, please be aware of your advances and actions and the impact they have on women, especially if they are unwanted. No ALWAYS means no.

Until next time, stay safe!


If you, or someone you know, has been a victim of any kind of sexual assault or rape, please call RAINN's (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) hotline at 1.800.656.HOPE (1.800.656.4673).

Anal Sex

Anal sex can either be a hit or a miss for most women. I know that for me it was more of a miss, but that didn't stop me from still making an effort to discover the joys in anal sex that some women had managed to encounter. Unfortunately, though, I came short of my anal discovery and have shied away from ever doing it, but might still be willing to give it another go.

Looking back at my anal encounters (I wonder if there’s a porn with that name), I realized that the reason for my dissatisfaction was the way my partners and I had gone about it. I have had anal sex with four different partners, and although they were all different in their sexual techniques, when it came to anal sex they all, with the exception of one, went about it the same way. First, they didn’t ask if we could have anal sex, they just started to slip it in until I stopped them and told them that they were about to go into the wrong hole. They would then stop and, after a short pause, ask if I would let them try to put in my anus. Starting things off in this manner definitely foreshadowed the negative experiences I have had with anal sex. 


Aside from first asking if I would be ok with anal sex, one thing that would have probably helped make these encounters a little more pleasurable would have been starting off with a bit of anal foreplay. Probably massaging the anus to loosen it up, and slipping in a finger or two, would have allowed for more loose sphincter muscles, as opposed to just easing the penis in, which tends to be quite a bit bigger than a finger. Another thing that would have made the experience more satisfying would have been to incorporate the use of a small anal toy to get the body used to having something inside the anus, which I intend on buying in order to give anal sex yet another chance. 


Other things that men need to understand when engaging in anal sex with a woman is that we women don't have prostrates, which is why it's not always pleasurable. For some women the pleasure comes in how different of a sensation it is, for others it's the position in which she is receiving anal that allows for her G-spot to be stimulated. One tip that I would give to men, aside from making sure that there is PLENTY of lube handy and to never go back into a girl's vagina after inserting the penis in the anus, is to make sure that they are simultaneously stimulating their female partner's clitoris while penetrating the anus (men on men action could probably use an extra tug for the bottom but I'm sure that the penis hitting the prostate is more than enough). The times that I engaged in anal sex there was no clitoral stimulation, and definitely not enough lube, which is another added reason to not enjoying it. Knowing what I do, and learning from my past experiences and mistakes, I feel that I might be ready to give anal sex another go, and I have high hopes for enjoying it. Who knows, I might even write about it. In the meantime, I'll tell you of my best anal sex experience that I have little recollection of... but not until next week's post. ;)


Until next time, stay excited!

***If you have a story you would like to share please email me. Also, if you have any suggestions for future adult toy reviews, topics, or questions please feel free to post them in the comments section or email me at DilDosNDilDonts@gmail.com***

One Night Stand

What usually happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, unless you’re me and insist on letting people know way too much about your sex life.

In July of 2009, my cousin, whom I'll refer to as D, her friend, whom I'll refer to as E, and myself met up with my friend, R, and her group in Las Vegas, Nevada. I was there because we were celebrating my cousin's 22nd birthday. The first night we were there we met up with R who was staying at the Luxor. As we were getting ready to go out, R went down to the lobby to score us some wristbands to get into LAX nightclub for free and drink some free champagne. Prior to heading out to the club, we all started pre-partying in the room. Several tequila shots and mixed drinks in, we headed out for the night. If I'm not mistaken, we had a one hour window in which we were able to partake of the free libations. We each got a glass of champagne, toasted, and drank. It was some pretty cheap and nasty tasting stuff, but it was free, so we just continued to drink until we couldn't taste how awful it was. Within the time in which we were able to get free drinks, we must have consumed at least a bottle each.

The rest of the night is a bit harder to recall, so please bare with me on some of the facts. Whenever I discuss that evening with R and D we all agree that it was almost as if we were living out the movie The Hangover. One minute I was getting drinks for everyone and we were all dancing with guys and just having a general good time, the next minute I'm missing and R is freaking out because she doesn't know where I went. To be quite honest I don't really know how and when I left the club, but I do know that I ended up in the room of the guy I was dancing with. The moment I realized what was happening was when he and I were undressing to have sex. I recall taking off his clothes and going down on him, and then him reciprocating the act.One thing that I can vividly recall is this guy's gifted ability at cunnilingus; just thinking about how good he was is starting to make me a bit hot and bothered.

When we were done with the foreplay, the sex began. This person that I was about to sleep with, not only did he give great head, but was also very well endowed, I felt like I hit the jackpot with this one night stand. Whoever this person was, it was as if he knew what I liked. The sex was rough when it needed it to be, gentle in the end, and just fun and exciting all in between. I do feel that it's important to mention that we did use a condom. Also, after this experience, I proceeded to get tested just to make sure that I didn't get anything from this guy, which I didn't. Yay safety! After everything was said and done, I got dressed and attempted to figure out where I was and where D, R, and E were. Fortunately, R saw me from across the building and flagged me down. Needless to say, she was upset and tired, as was my cousin, who was probably more drunk than anything else. D, E and myself ended up catching a cab and heading back to our hotel to sleep it all out. D was the one that mentioned that the night reminded her of The Hangover, which was true, to a certain extent; I'm just glad I didn't end up locked up on a roof.

Oh, I almost forgot, after he and I were done with sex I sort of passed out, briefly, and later discovered that he took my cousin's camera, which I was holding in my boobs for safekeeping the entire night, and proceeded to take pictures of me lying naked. Unfortunately, D got a glimpse of those pictures; sorry about that. But she promptly deleted them and called me to tell me about it when she discovered them several weeks later. Unfortunately, I sort of told her that nothing happened, but that was because I had never done anything like this before. I was ashamed of what I had done, and felt like I couldn't really tell anyone. But in retrospect, I don't mind recounting this sexual experience. I consented to the sex, I was safe, and I still went and got tested after the whole experience. Regardless of what your sexscapades are or are not, the most important thing is your safety and your consenting to the sex.

Until next time, stay excited!



***If you have a story you would like to share please email me. Also, if you have any suggestions for future adult toy reviews, topics, or questions please feel free to post them in the comments section or email me at DilDosNDilDonts@gmail.com***