Women Penetrating Women

Before I begin with this week's blog post, I want to just let all the readers know that next week's post will be a very intimate post for me, and it will be posted on the blog on Saturday. So keep don't fret if you don't see it until the weekend.

Additionally, I have now added a "Donate" button on the blog (on the upper right hand side of the website), for anyone that would like to contribute to the blog. I intend to use the funds for future toys to review. Now onto today's post.

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Last month, on my "Sex with Women" post, a reader asked: "How do two women engage in sexual intercourse?" I promised to respond to this question with a blog post, so here it is.

When I read that comment, the first thing that came to mind was the scene in "Chasing Amy" where Alyssa, played by Joey Lauren Adams, explains to Holden, played Ben Affleck, how two women can have sex. Holden's problem came with his lack of understanding how a woman can penetrate another woman, therefore thinking that two women can't REALLY have sex. I think that it's quite possible for some men to believe this, and believe that just because a woman has never been with another man that she's still a virgin. Then the question becomes, what is the definition of a woman losing her virginity? In all sincerity, this could just mean the first time you are penetrated by a partner, whether it be with a male bodied partner and their penis, or a female bodied partner and their fingers/hands.

There's a common misconception that a woman loses her virginity when her hymen breaks. Sorry to burst your bubble, but there are a lot of young girls and women who don't have intact hymens and whom have never had any kind of sexual intercourse. Due to how active young girls and women are, it's quite easy for a girl to tear her hymen, but this doesn't mean that she's not still a virgin. When I lost my virginity (the first time I had a phallus penetrate my vagina) I didn't bleed. I had already broken my hymen a while ago; I think it was when I was younger and horseback riding. But I digress from the original question.

Aside from fingers and hands, women can penetrate other women with their tongues and with a strap-on. Some lesbian couples go to adult toy stores together to purchase toys to penetrate each other with; this practice is quite common. I've had a few conversations with men that don't understand this; why would two lesbians want to have sex with a strap-on? Why don't they just have sex with someone that has the real thing? Well, this is quite simple; because women don't "love" penis, or any other form of phallus. What they love is the person it's attached to; and this goes for pretty much all women, not just lesbians. The act of penetration, whether it be from a dildo or the real thing, is what's intimate, not the actual phallus itself.

Furthermore, to love someone is a form of penetration, and for some women, this is the important type of penetration. If I am with a woman and we love each other, and we're having sex but are not physically penetrating each other, that doesn't mean that when we're performing other forms of love-making we're still not penetrating each other in some way. Hopefully this has been insightful.


Until next time, stay excited!




***If you have a story you would like to share please email me. If you would like to make a donation, please do so by using the secure PayPal "DONATE" button on the top right of the website. Also, if you have any suggestions for future adult toy reviews, topics, or questions please feel free to post them in the comments section or email me at DilDosNDilDonts@gmail.com***

Porn Myths

Hello readers! First off, I would like to apologize for the lack of a post last week. Unfortunately, I had to take care of some issues that had to be prioritized over the blog. Fortunately, though, all of that has been taken care of. And now, onto today's post.

Something that I have run into, and continue to run into, is people thinking that "porn" sex is the same as "real" sex, so this week's blog post is dedicated to debunking some of those Porn Myths.

I know that most of us use porn as a resource for learning a few new moves and tricks. I agree, there are a few things that porn can help us with, particularly if one is not inventive or spontaneous during sex, but not everything should be taken for granted when watching porn.

• Oral Sex: Just flicking the tip of your tongue on a woman's clitoris will make a woman reach an orgasm.
• FALSE!!! The clitoris requires quite a bit of pressure that the tip of the tongue cannot provide. Pushing one's tongue flat against the clitoris is what feels best, but because it doesn't look the prettiest on screen it is not shown in porn films, plus it's hard to film that.
• Dirty Talk: During sex you can say whatever you want to get the mood going. If you want to call your partner a dirty slut, whore, bitch, etc., feel free to do so, it will turn her on.
• FALSE!!! Never call a woman a slut, whore or a bitch, unless she has explicitly stated that she likes, or doesn't mind, being called these words. This is where communication comes into play. Some women don't like the dirty talk, they would prefer a bit of sweet talking during sex, or no talking, but if you don't communicate with your partner you will never know what they like, or what some of the "no-no" words may be.
• Oral Sex After Penetration: Women love sucking on a penis or dildo that was just inside of them.
• FALSE!!! Although a woman should know what they taste like, for health reasons, some women are not into tasting themselves, just like most men don't care to taste their own semen. Also, if a penis or dildo was in a woman's anus she should DEFINITELY not lick that because of bacteria that they might ingest.
• Going Back and Forth Between the Anus and Vagina: You can go back and forth between the anus and vagina during intercourse.
• HUGE FALSE!!! The women in the porn films in which this occurs have their anal cavity THOROUGHLY, or at least one would hope so, cleaned out (not to mention that it's also pre-stretched prior to shooting the anal sex scenes). Never EVER go back to front on a woman, whether it be with a penis, finger, dildo, or some other toy. There is bacteria, lots of bacteria, in the anal cavity, and this bacteria is definitely "no bueno". Now, if you switch up the condoms, after going into the anus, THEN you can go back into the vagina. 
• Anal Sex Doesn't Require Much Lube: Just a bit of spit can go a long way. Also, it's not necessary to play with a girl's clitoris during anal sex, just the anal penetration will get a girl off.
• FALSE!!! When it comes to anal sex, lube is your best friend. Even with people that have a lot of anal sex need some lube to initially ease anything in the anus. Also, if you're a male and you're having anal sex with a female partner, please make sure to not forget to go for a little reach-around clitoral play. 

Those were the "big" myths that I could think of at the moment. If anyone of you can think of others please feel free to share them in the comments section. 

Until next time, stay excited!




***If you have a story you would like to share please email me. Also, if you have any suggestions for future adult toy reviews, topics, or questions please feel free to post them in the comments section or email me at DilDosNDilDonts@gmail.com***

One Night Stand

What usually happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, unless you’re me and insist on letting people know way too much about your sex life.

In July of 2009, my cousin, whom I'll refer to as D, her friend, whom I'll refer to as E, and myself met up with my friend, R, and her group in Las Vegas, Nevada. I was there because we were celebrating my cousin's 22nd birthday. The first night we were there we met up with R who was staying at the Luxor. As we were getting ready to go out, R went down to the lobby to score us some wristbands to get into LAX nightclub for free and drink some free champagne. Prior to heading out to the club, we all started pre-partying in the room. Several tequila shots and mixed drinks in, we headed out for the night. If I'm not mistaken, we had a one hour window in which we were able to partake of the free libations. We each got a glass of champagne, toasted, and drank. It was some pretty cheap and nasty tasting stuff, but it was free, so we just continued to drink until we couldn't taste how awful it was. Within the time in which we were able to get free drinks, we must have consumed at least a bottle each.

The rest of the night is a bit harder to recall, so please bare with me on some of the facts. Whenever I discuss that evening with R and D we all agree that it was almost as if we were living out the movie The Hangover. One minute I was getting drinks for everyone and we were all dancing with guys and just having a general good time, the next minute I'm missing and R is freaking out because she doesn't know where I went. To be quite honest I don't really know how and when I left the club, but I do know that I ended up in the room of the guy I was dancing with. The moment I realized what was happening was when he and I were undressing to have sex. I recall taking off his clothes and going down on him, and then him reciprocating the act.One thing that I can vividly recall is this guy's gifted ability at cunnilingus; just thinking about how good he was is starting to make me a bit hot and bothered.

When we were done with the foreplay, the sex began. This person that I was about to sleep with, not only did he give great head, but was also very well endowed, I felt like I hit the jackpot with this one night stand. Whoever this person was, it was as if he knew what I liked. The sex was rough when it needed it to be, gentle in the end, and just fun and exciting all in between. I do feel that it's important to mention that we did use a condom. Also, after this experience, I proceeded to get tested just to make sure that I didn't get anything from this guy, which I didn't. Yay safety! After everything was said and done, I got dressed and attempted to figure out where I was and where D, R, and E were. Fortunately, R saw me from across the building and flagged me down. Needless to say, she was upset and tired, as was my cousin, who was probably more drunk than anything else. D, E and myself ended up catching a cab and heading back to our hotel to sleep it all out. D was the one that mentioned that the night reminded her of The Hangover, which was true, to a certain extent; I'm just glad I didn't end up locked up on a roof.

Oh, I almost forgot, after he and I were done with sex I sort of passed out, briefly, and later discovered that he took my cousin's camera, which I was holding in my boobs for safekeeping the entire night, and proceeded to take pictures of me lying naked. Unfortunately, D got a glimpse of those pictures; sorry about that. But she promptly deleted them and called me to tell me about it when she discovered them several weeks later. Unfortunately, I sort of told her that nothing happened, but that was because I had never done anything like this before. I was ashamed of what I had done, and felt like I couldn't really tell anyone. But in retrospect, I don't mind recounting this sexual experience. I consented to the sex, I was safe, and I still went and got tested after the whole experience. Regardless of what your sexscapades are or are not, the most important thing is your safety and your consenting to the sex.

Until next time, stay excited!



***If you have a story you would like to share please email me. Also, if you have any suggestions for future adult toy reviews, topics, or questions please feel free to post them in the comments section or email me at DilDosNDilDonts@gmail.com***

Talk Dirty to Me

I know that you have heard it time and time again; communication is the key to a healthy relationship. Well, this could not be truer when it comes to communicating about sex before, during, and after sex. Aside from communicating during sex with “sexy talk”, which can be really hot, the communication that comes before the sex is just as important, especially when it comes to setting boundaries for what you are or are not comfortable doing in the bedroom. 

 

I love rough sex. I’m a fan of just taking it and being told what to do, having my hair pulled, and being spanked and lightly bit. I also love to dirty talk prior to sex in public places; being told what’s going to happen to me and how I’m going to be “punished” is a HUGE turn on and a great form of foreplay. You wouldn’t know this about me just by looking at me, so how do you think that my last few partners knew to do this in order to ensure that I had a very pleasurable sexual experience? I told them about it. I set boundaries for what words they couldn’t use when talking dirty; I’m not a fan of being called a bitch during the sexy talk. My partners also knew that I wasn’t that big of a fan of anal sex, although I’ve been recently reconsidering trying it again, so they never attempted to do it or brought it up. The point I’m making is that communication is the key to a great sexual relationship.

Prior to my now candid nature with my partners about what I enjoy in the bedroom, I would just do the deed and not really bother to let my partner know, neither before nor after sex, what the things that I enjoyed the most were. This was a big mistake on my part because I’m quite the submissive during sex. When a partner would ask me what I wanted to have done to me I would go into “super-freak-out-silence-mode”. Needless to say, it took a while before I was able to communicate during sex. I think that my silence came from not really knowing what I wanted and liked, but also from wanting a partner to just take control and have their way with me, yet I didn’t communicate this. Little by little, though, as the amount of sex I had increased, I began to realize what I liked and that most guys have no clue what a woman really enjoys in bed. But to be fair about that statement, most women want different things.

Talking about sex before you have it is also a great way to explore each other’s wild side, as well as test what boundaries might or might not be ok to cross. I used to sleep with a friend that wanted a finger or two up his butt during oral sex, and he was completely candid about this. I was fine with obliging to his request and it made sex a lot more fun for the both of us. On another occasion, I was sleeping with a guy that liked to pinch my nipples, but before he proceeded to pinch them he asked if it was ok, I told him he could do it but I would let him know when it was too much. During that sexual experience I found out that I like my nipples pinched and bit, but the fact that he asked for permission is what really made that experience hot.

It’s important to note that you should probably not go to your partner and start listing things that you don’t like during sex. Keeping things in a more positive light and giving suggestions for alternative experiences to the ones that you’re not a fan of, that way no one’s ego gets hurt, is probably the best way to go about things. Now, if you tell someone that you would rather they do something else instead of continuing with what they’re doing, but they don’t listen to you, then you should definitely put your foot down and say that you don’t like what they’re doing. Consent is sexy, but if your partner tries to do something that you have said you’re not too keen on doing then you should definitely feel comfortable to say that you do not like something.

 

To get you started, here are a few things that you should consider talking to your partner about: 

 1) Fantasies 

 2) Where you like for them to cum (for those with male partners)

 3) Whether or not you like cum in your mouth

 4) Positions you favor

 5) Toys you would like to use during sex

 6) Your thoughts on role playing

 7) Places that you like to have sex (public vs private)

 8) Foreplay

 9) Oral sex

 10) Mutual Masturbation

 11) Anal sex

 12) Bondage or more extreme forms of S&M

These were just a few suggestions, but I'm sure that you all can come up with more. Please feel free to leave your suggestions for topics to talk about with your partners in the comments section, I'm sure other people would appreciate it ;).

Until next time, stay excited! 

***If you have a story you would like to share please email me. Also, if you have any suggestions for future adult toy reviews, topics, or questions please feel free to post them in the comments section or email me at DilDosNDilDonts@gmail.com***