The story of when I lost my virginity is neither romantic nor exciting, which seems to be the majority of what I’m hearing from some women I talk to. The first time I had intercourse I was eighteen, going on nineteen, and was about to end my first year of college. The only reason I remember that evening is because it was my first time, and who doesn’t remember their first time? Actually, this night could have been almost as forgettable as any night I had fairly dull sex, which, unfortunately, has been more often than I would like. I know, it’s very sad and mean to say it this way, but to be quite honest, how many women, and sometimes men, had this notion that your first time would be idyllic? I’m going to guess that most of us. The sad reality of it all is that it probably wasn’t, and that afterwards you were probably just left thinking “that’s it? That’s what all that fuss was about?” Well, that’s exactly how I felt after I had sex for the first time. My reaction was almost exactly like the main character in the movie “An Education” had when she lost her virginity.
Now, I do have to confess that I was not in a relationship with this person, nor was I in love with him or had any desire to be in a relationship, so my first time would have probably been a little more memorable if I felt that I had an emotional connection with him, but I still doubt it. What he was “packing” was also nothing to get hot and bothered about; below average length, and hardly any girth. There was some foreplay to kick start that evening, and it wasn't too bad, he was fairly attentive to my needs prior to the sex. The actual penetration, though, didn’t last too long, about a few minutes, from what I remember. I sometimes wondered if he was even in at all. After he came, though, he proceeded to make sure that I too was satisfied, which I give him lots of praise for. Too often I have had sex where the guy came and didn’t bother to make sure that I was also satisfied; I'll get to them in future posts, don't worry.
After the first time we had sex, I decided that I would give him another chance to redeem himself, but again, the intercourse was dull, quick, and non-imaginative, position-wise. We didn’t have sex many more times after that.
As I sit here and reflect on that sexual encounter I think back on the reasons why I decided to lose my virginity in the first place. Mostly it's because of religious oppression of women’s sexuality, mainly coming from what I had witnessed in religion at that time in my life, and also my atheist beliefs. But another reason is my sexual curiosity, which you already learned about from my first post. There was no way that I was going to wait until marriage to have my first sexual encounter, especially since I’m 27 and have absolutely no desire to get married right now.
One thing that I do feel compelled to note, though, is that I was at first frightened into wanting to wait by my mother and grandmother. I have cousins that had children as teenagers, and I was afraid that if I were to have sex that I would become a teenage mom as well, which would interfere with my college plans. Fortunately, though, I paid attention in sex-ed and knew that there were ways to be safe and prevent a pregnancy and contracting STIs. I also decided that I wanted to wait until I was 18 to have sex, just in case the contraception didn't work and I did indeed get pregnant.
Before I finish, I just want to write a quick note on the hymen. A woman's hymen can break easily; it doesn't necessarily have to break during sexual intercourse. I'm pretty sure that the lack of pain and bleeding from my first time are indicators that my hymen had broken long before that first time I had sex, which I'm happy about because that means that I never had to experience that pain or bleeding from sex.
Until next time, stay excited!
***If you have a story you would like to share please email me. Also, if you have any suggestions for future adult toy reviews, topics, or questions please feel free to post them in the comments section or email me at DilDosNDilDonts@gmail.com***