HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!
I know that I was supposed to post last week, and that post was supposed to be on how much of a non-issue having a small penis is, but as you can see that did not end up happening. Well, Since it IS the end of the month I'm technically supposed to post a story about my own experience, so this post will be my segue to that "small penis" post, but after next week's review.
Even though I plan to write about how a man with a small penis isn't necessarily the worst thing for a woman to experience, this post is going to be about the opposite.
I've had my fair share of "small penis" experiences, but fortunately it hasn't been the majority. One experience sticks out the most mainly because it was pretty bad. I went out with this guy, who I will refer to as L, a few times. The last time I went out with him we went to a concert and had a really great time. There was a lot of flirting, and a lot of getting physical; close dancing, hand holding, kissing, and caressing. All of the physical interaction was really turning me on, so I knew that we were definitely going to get it on that night. When he finally took me home, and started to do some heavy petting, I decided to just go for it and start undressing him, he reciprocated and began to undress me. When we were both finally naked, I noticed the size, or lack thereof, of his penis. I remember thinking about how disappointed I was but hoped that there would at least be some really fun foreplay.
The foreplay never happened. L decided to just go straight to the penetration, which was sort of a HUGE bummer. What happened next was sort of embarrassing. While we were having sex, doggie style, I fell asleep. Now let me back track a bit. By the time we had gone back to my place it was around 2 or 3 in the morning, I had been drinking, and his penis was too small for me to really feel anything that would be remotely exciting. At one point he noticed that I was asleep and asked me if I had fallen asleep. I quickly snapped out of it and told him that I hadn't and that he should just keep going, that I had just buried my face in the pillow and he couldn't hear me moan. Well, I fell asleep again, and this time he really noticed.
With his pride hurt, he stopped and said that he was just going to go home. I apologized and explained that I was exhausted, which was true. Needless to say, that was the last time we went out. Now, I know that I should have just had him go home after we got to my place, I really was tired and kind of just wanted to knock out, but I was also horny. I feel like the real culprit was his lack of ability to do anything other than just penetrate me. The penetration was boring, and when it's THAT small he should have known better than to just rely on his "thrusting" skills.
The other small penis experiences I've had were sort of similar, minus the falling asleep, but the lack of attention to my vagina from anything other than a penis is about the same. I'll get into the importance of foreplay in two weeks. In the meantime, I think it's important for guys to understand that if you weren't fortunate to be born well endowed, you need to make sure that you don't just rely on your penis to pleasure a woman.
Well, that's all for now. Until next time, stay excited!
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Showing posts with label story. Show all posts
Showing posts with label story. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Saturday, September 29, 2012
RAPE
Readers, I have a confession to make; I haven't been honest with any of you. Yes, I started the blog because I wanted to increase my toy collection, and because I wanted to partake in all the women's health issues dialogues that are currently taking place in this election year; but the real reason, though, is because a year ago today I was raped. In thinking about bringing this blog into fruition, I felt that getting my rape story "out there" would help to ease my pain.
Before I begin, I know that many of my friends read this blog, and chances are that most of you know who my attacker was. I ask you to please not confront this person if you do indeed figure out who it was. For those that don't know, please don't ask. I'm writing this as a form of therapy for myself with the hopes of letting all of that go and moving on with my life as soon as it is posted.
I've had a total of two traumatic experiences in my life, and all within under two years of each other. The first was the loss of my little sister, which took me down a dark and lonely path in which I pulled away from everyone. My second experience, my rape, has taken me down a dark and lonely path from which I've been pulling away from the person I once was.
I had a friend from Los Angeles visiting me back when I was living in Portland. He was nearing the end of his second week stay in Oregon; he split his time between Portland and some other part of Oregon where he has family and went to go visit for a week. The entire time that he stayed with me he slept on my bed, while I slept on the futon, as I assumed any good host would do. He and I were both going to be leaving Portland that following Saturday morning; him back to LA, and me to San Francisco to visit some friends and go to a college football game.
I vividly remember everything that happened that day. It was Thursday, September 29, 2011, and I went to work like any other day. I was "seeing" someone at the time and, as we sometimes did, he and I were chatting back and forth. After opening up to my friend who was visiting, I decided to take his advice and put all my cards on the table with this guy I was seeing. I asked him, point blank, where I fit in his busy life. I should have figured things out by that point; I hadn't seen him in a while, about a month, and our only method of communication was via IM. Things had obviously not been moving forward, and they weren't going to. Unfortunately, though, I'm a bit of a masochist and needed to hear from him, directly, that things had gone as far as they were going to go in the "relationship." To my dismay, all I was told was that his intent was not to place me in a holding pattern. I wanted more clarification on that statement, but I didn't receive any.
Dejected and rejected, I knew that I wanted to go out and forget about it all. My friend and I decided to go karaoke at my favorite "hole in the wall" karaoke place. He drank, I sang, and he opened up about how in love he was with my best friend. He hated the fact that she was seeing a "white boy", as he put it, and didn't bother to give him a chance. I told him that he needed to stop being so prejudiced and just accept the fact that she was happy. The entire evening was this same scenario until we closed down the bar; I sang and moped, he drank and continued to profess his love for my best friend. On our drive back to my place, he continued to tell me how much he loved my friend. I was slightly annoyed, but mostly amused by his drunk rantings.
We went into my apartment, and as I locked the door behind me, he proceeded to kissed me. At first I just let it happen, mainly because I used to have a crush on this person, but I quickly came to my senses, and remember how in love he was with my best friend, and pushed him away. He apologized and I told him that we should go to bed. At this point, he stopped me and told me that he felt guilty for taking up my bed and that I should just sleep in my room that night; he would sleep on one side of the bed and me on the other. Not thinking much about it, and quite frankly tired of being uncomfortable on the futon, I decided to sleep in my room with him.
After I put on my pajamas, I want into the room and lay on the bed. At this point, he jumped on top of me and began making out with me once again, but added some groping. I pushed him off and got up from the bed. On my way out the bedroom, he stopped me, apologized, promised to not make any more advances on me and convinced me to come back to the bed. That was the worst decision of my life.
As I came back to my bed, he pinned me down and proceeded to rip off my pajama bottoms and underwear. He went down on me, briefly, but long enough to hurt my vulva; I believe that he bit me while he was down there. Then, without a condom, he proceeded to rape me. It wasn't long before I managed to finally break free from him, he probably got in only about two pumps, but the damage had been done. The entire time I was aware of the fact that it was really late at night and I didn't want to wake up my neighbors for some reason. So, although I was pleading for him to stop, and was attempting to physically push him away, I never raised my voice loud enough to wake up the neighbors.
After I got free, I grabbed my pajama bottoms and put them on. At this point, he said something that has continued to affect me; "you're friend doesn't want me, so now you don't want me?" I didn't want to hear any of this, so I rushed into the living room, wrapped myself in my blanked, and lay on the futon in the fetal position. A few moments later, he came into the living room. All he said was that he was sorry. I told him to leave me alone, that I had to be up early in the morning to go to work.
That night I cried more than I slept. Earlier that day I was rejected, then, after being told how much in love he was with my friend, I was violated in the worst way possible, followed by an attempt to feel guilty for not accepting his sexual advances. I was beside myself, and my mind and emotions were going a million miles an hour. I didn't know what my next move was going to be.
It's not until you've been attacked by someone you know, and considered to be a close friend, that you realize that sometimes you just can't make a simple decision to notify the authorities about your violation. What you want to do is nothing, because you feel like nothing. You feel insignificant, and in my case, only felt desired for sex, as if that was all I was good for. I confided in my two close friends about what transpired that previous night. Although, I wasn't completely honest about what happened. To them, I explained that what occurred was a sexual assault, and not a rape. It took me three to four months to acknowledge the fact that I was indeed raped. They advised me to kick him out of my apartment, but I wasn't sure about what I wanted to do.
On my lunch break, I went back to my apartment, as I normally do, and found that he was out walking my dog. While I was sitting on my couch, eating my lunch, he walked in and sat on the far end of the couch. He hung his head low and proceeded to explain that he didn't really remember what happened the previous night, but that he felt like he did something wrong and wanted to apologize for it. I told him what was on my mind at the moment, which was something close to the following:
"You made me feel so violated. The worst part was that this happened from you; someone whom I considered to be a close friend and whom I confided in. NO ONE has ever made me feel the way that you did last night. So insignificant. So vulnerable."
I thought that telling him that would make me feel better, but it didn't. After my lunch break, I went back to work and attempted to push through the day. After work, he and I barely spoke. He fell asleep on the futon that night, and I had no choice but to sleep on the bed that I was raped in the previous night. We both got up that following Saturday morning, finished packing, and drove to the airport. Since we were flying in separate airlines, I broke away from him and advanced to the security check point. I went through the metal detector, then just walked to my gate. Half-way to my gate, I receive a text from him apologizing about what transpired and him expressing his desire to continue our friendship. My response to him was honest; "I don't know if you've lost my friendship, but I need my space." He apologized once more, and thanked me for letting him stay with me.
Since the rape, I learned that I got an STI, which only added to my feelings of self-loathing. Fortunately, everything was treated and I'm now fine, but at the damage has been done and I still feel disgusting, and even more undesirable. I don't consider the rape to be a sexual encounter, but because of it I haven't had a sexual encounter since my last one, which took place in July, about a little over a month before the rape. My trust issues with men have gotten worse, and I have noticed that my depression has also taken a turn for the worst in terms of its frequency. But after talking to my therapist, I decided that I would share my story on here with the hope that it would help someone who has gone through such an ordeal, or for others to see that it can happen to anyone.
If there's anything that I would like for you all to take away from my experience is that this can happen to anyone. And men, please be aware of your advances and actions and the impact they have on women, especially if they are unwanted. No ALWAYS means no.
Until next time, stay safe!
If you, or someone you know, has been a victim of any kind of sexual assault or rape, please call RAINN's (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) hotline at 1.800.656.HOPE (1.800.656.4673).
Before I begin, I know that many of my friends read this blog, and chances are that most of you know who my attacker was. I ask you to please not confront this person if you do indeed figure out who it was. For those that don't know, please don't ask. I'm writing this as a form of therapy for myself with the hopes of letting all of that go and moving on with my life as soon as it is posted.
I've had a total of two traumatic experiences in my life, and all within under two years of each other. The first was the loss of my little sister, which took me down a dark and lonely path in which I pulled away from everyone. My second experience, my rape, has taken me down a dark and lonely path from which I've been pulling away from the person I once was.
I had a friend from Los Angeles visiting me back when I was living in Portland. He was nearing the end of his second week stay in Oregon; he split his time between Portland and some other part of Oregon where he has family and went to go visit for a week. The entire time that he stayed with me he slept on my bed, while I slept on the futon, as I assumed any good host would do. He and I were both going to be leaving Portland that following Saturday morning; him back to LA, and me to San Francisco to visit some friends and go to a college football game.
I vividly remember everything that happened that day. It was Thursday, September 29, 2011, and I went to work like any other day. I was "seeing" someone at the time and, as we sometimes did, he and I were chatting back and forth. After opening up to my friend who was visiting, I decided to take his advice and put all my cards on the table with this guy I was seeing. I asked him, point blank, where I fit in his busy life. I should have figured things out by that point; I hadn't seen him in a while, about a month, and our only method of communication was via IM. Things had obviously not been moving forward, and they weren't going to. Unfortunately, though, I'm a bit of a masochist and needed to hear from him, directly, that things had gone as far as they were going to go in the "relationship." To my dismay, all I was told was that his intent was not to place me in a holding pattern. I wanted more clarification on that statement, but I didn't receive any.
Dejected and rejected, I knew that I wanted to go out and forget about it all. My friend and I decided to go karaoke at my favorite "hole in the wall" karaoke place. He drank, I sang, and he opened up about how in love he was with my best friend. He hated the fact that she was seeing a "white boy", as he put it, and didn't bother to give him a chance. I told him that he needed to stop being so prejudiced and just accept the fact that she was happy. The entire evening was this same scenario until we closed down the bar; I sang and moped, he drank and continued to profess his love for my best friend. On our drive back to my place, he continued to tell me how much he loved my friend. I was slightly annoyed, but mostly amused by his drunk rantings.
We went into my apartment, and as I locked the door behind me, he proceeded to kissed me. At first I just let it happen, mainly because I used to have a crush on this person, but I quickly came to my senses, and remember how in love he was with my best friend, and pushed him away. He apologized and I told him that we should go to bed. At this point, he stopped me and told me that he felt guilty for taking up my bed and that I should just sleep in my room that night; he would sleep on one side of the bed and me on the other. Not thinking much about it, and quite frankly tired of being uncomfortable on the futon, I decided to sleep in my room with him.
After I put on my pajamas, I want into the room and lay on the bed. At this point, he jumped on top of me and began making out with me once again, but added some groping. I pushed him off and got up from the bed. On my way out the bedroom, he stopped me, apologized, promised to not make any more advances on me and convinced me to come back to the bed. That was the worst decision of my life.
As I came back to my bed, he pinned me down and proceeded to rip off my pajama bottoms and underwear. He went down on me, briefly, but long enough to hurt my vulva; I believe that he bit me while he was down there. Then, without a condom, he proceeded to rape me. It wasn't long before I managed to finally break free from him, he probably got in only about two pumps, but the damage had been done. The entire time I was aware of the fact that it was really late at night and I didn't want to wake up my neighbors for some reason. So, although I was pleading for him to stop, and was attempting to physically push him away, I never raised my voice loud enough to wake up the neighbors.
After I got free, I grabbed my pajama bottoms and put them on. At this point, he said something that has continued to affect me; "you're friend doesn't want me, so now you don't want me?" I didn't want to hear any of this, so I rushed into the living room, wrapped myself in my blanked, and lay on the futon in the fetal position. A few moments later, he came into the living room. All he said was that he was sorry. I told him to leave me alone, that I had to be up early in the morning to go to work.
That night I cried more than I slept. Earlier that day I was rejected, then, after being told how much in love he was with my friend, I was violated in the worst way possible, followed by an attempt to feel guilty for not accepting his sexual advances. I was beside myself, and my mind and emotions were going a million miles an hour. I didn't know what my next move was going to be.
It's not until you've been attacked by someone you know, and considered to be a close friend, that you realize that sometimes you just can't make a simple decision to notify the authorities about your violation. What you want to do is nothing, because you feel like nothing. You feel insignificant, and in my case, only felt desired for sex, as if that was all I was good for. I confided in my two close friends about what transpired that previous night. Although, I wasn't completely honest about what happened. To them, I explained that what occurred was a sexual assault, and not a rape. It took me three to four months to acknowledge the fact that I was indeed raped. They advised me to kick him out of my apartment, but I wasn't sure about what I wanted to do.
On my lunch break, I went back to my apartment, as I normally do, and found that he was out walking my dog. While I was sitting on my couch, eating my lunch, he walked in and sat on the far end of the couch. He hung his head low and proceeded to explain that he didn't really remember what happened the previous night, but that he felt like he did something wrong and wanted to apologize for it. I told him what was on my mind at the moment, which was something close to the following:
"You made me feel so violated. The worst part was that this happened from you; someone whom I considered to be a close friend and whom I confided in. NO ONE has ever made me feel the way that you did last night. So insignificant. So vulnerable."
I thought that telling him that would make me feel better, but it didn't. After my lunch break, I went back to work and attempted to push through the day. After work, he and I barely spoke. He fell asleep on the futon that night, and I had no choice but to sleep on the bed that I was raped in the previous night. We both got up that following Saturday morning, finished packing, and drove to the airport. Since we were flying in separate airlines, I broke away from him and advanced to the security check point. I went through the metal detector, then just walked to my gate. Half-way to my gate, I receive a text from him apologizing about what transpired and him expressing his desire to continue our friendship. My response to him was honest; "I don't know if you've lost my friendship, but I need my space." He apologized once more, and thanked me for letting him stay with me.
Since the rape, I learned that I got an STI, which only added to my feelings of self-loathing. Fortunately, everything was treated and I'm now fine, but at the damage has been done and I still feel disgusting, and even more undesirable. I don't consider the rape to be a sexual encounter, but because of it I haven't had a sexual encounter since my last one, which took place in July, about a little over a month before the rape. My trust issues with men have gotten worse, and I have noticed that my depression has also taken a turn for the worst in terms of its frequency. But after talking to my therapist, I decided that I would share my story on here with the hope that it would help someone who has gone through such an ordeal, or for others to see that it can happen to anyone.
If there's anything that I would like for you all to take away from my experience is that this can happen to anyone. And men, please be aware of your advances and actions and the impact they have on women, especially if they are unwanted. No ALWAYS means no.
Until next time, stay safe!
If you, or someone you know, has been a victim of any kind of sexual assault or rape, please call RAINN's (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) hotline at 1.800.656.HOPE (1.800.656.4673).
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Sex in Cars
Having sex in a car is always very uncomfortable; yet, I have done it more times than I can count on two hands. I think that one of the reasons why I have done it so much is because of the excitement/dangerous factor that comes with having sex in a parked car, among other reasons. To clarify, by sex I mean penetration, not just oral sex or hand jobs.
The first time I had sex in a car was with someone that I had met through a friend. We hit it off and started "hanging out" with each other. Unfortunately, that was the year that I was living at home with my mom and commuting to school, he also lived at home. When we first wanted to "get it on" we had nowhere to do it, except for his car. Well, I wasn't too sure about having sex in a car on a residential street, even if it was late at night and the entire neighborhood was asleep. After a bit of making out and heavy petting I sort of gave in to having sex in the car.
One thing I need to point out before I describe the sex, his car was a Civic hatchback, so just imagine the amount of space, or lack thereof, which we had to get it on. When we first realized that we were going to have sex in his car we decided to just stay and do it in the front seat. After several uncomfortable moves, we both decided to move things to the back seat, which didn't really make the experience any better. We were both still very uncomfortable, but I still wanted to continue. I realized then that having sex in a car was really turning me on, regardless of how difficult it was to do so in his little car. There is a lot to be said about the risk of getting caught, it's dangerous and kinky. The sex wasn't great, due to the lack of space, but it was definitely a memorable experience because of how turned on I was.
Another person I've had sex in a car with had a bigger car, in which there was plenty of room to move around and try different positions. With this other person, we would some times drive out to hill top areas where there was a picturesque view of the city below, make out, then proceed to have sex in the car. I know that there's less of a "danger" factor involved in these instances since we would drive out to remote areas, but nonetheless, it was still exciting. Of course, not every time we got it on in his car was it in a secluded area with a pretty backdrop; at times we would just park on a dark residential street and hope to not get caught. Fortunately, nobody ever caught us.
The last time I had sex in a car was definitely in a much riskier location; Downtown Portland, parked under a street lamp. This is one of those instances where I had WAAAAY too much to drink and was just not thinking and going with what I felt in the moment; horny. Because we had both been drinking, I more than him, we went back to my car, because it was closest, and just started to make out. Of course, with that much alcohol, I was on a mission to get laid, so my wandering hands found his very eager penis. After a bit of oral sex, we reclined the seats and attempted to have sex. Once we both realized how uncomfortable we both were, we decided to get dressed and get into his car so we could go back to his place. Fortunately, all of the heavy breathing had fogged up the windows, so I'm pretty sure that the only thing the people in the city of Portland saw was a car rocking back and forth.
Granted, that last encounter was more due to a lack of ability to drive at the moment that things were going down, but every time I have found myself getting it on in a car I felt extra excited. One thing is for sure, you have to make sure to have tissue in your car, or just a towel, because it can get sweaty and a bit sticky in there.
Until next time, stay excited!
***If you have a story you would like to share please email me. Also, if you have any suggestions for future adult toy reviews, topics, or questions please feel free to post them in the comments section or email me at DilDosNDilDonts@gmail.com***
The first time I had sex in a car was with someone that I had met through a friend. We hit it off and started "hanging out" with each other. Unfortunately, that was the year that I was living at home with my mom and commuting to school, he also lived at home. When we first wanted to "get it on" we had nowhere to do it, except for his car. Well, I wasn't too sure about having sex in a car on a residential street, even if it was late at night and the entire neighborhood was asleep. After a bit of making out and heavy petting I sort of gave in to having sex in the car.
One thing I need to point out before I describe the sex, his car was a Civic hatchback, so just imagine the amount of space, or lack thereof, which we had to get it on. When we first realized that we were going to have sex in his car we decided to just stay and do it in the front seat. After several uncomfortable moves, we both decided to move things to the back seat, which didn't really make the experience any better. We were both still very uncomfortable, but I still wanted to continue. I realized then that having sex in a car was really turning me on, regardless of how difficult it was to do so in his little car. There is a lot to be said about the risk of getting caught, it's dangerous and kinky. The sex wasn't great, due to the lack of space, but it was definitely a memorable experience because of how turned on I was.
Another person I've had sex in a car with had a bigger car, in which there was plenty of room to move around and try different positions. With this other person, we would some times drive out to hill top areas where there was a picturesque view of the city below, make out, then proceed to have sex in the car. I know that there's less of a "danger" factor involved in these instances since we would drive out to remote areas, but nonetheless, it was still exciting. Of course, not every time we got it on in his car was it in a secluded area with a pretty backdrop; at times we would just park on a dark residential street and hope to not get caught. Fortunately, nobody ever caught us.
The last time I had sex in a car was definitely in a much riskier location; Downtown Portland, parked under a street lamp. This is one of those instances where I had WAAAAY too much to drink and was just not thinking and going with what I felt in the moment; horny. Because we had both been drinking, I more than him, we went back to my car, because it was closest, and just started to make out. Of course, with that much alcohol, I was on a mission to get laid, so my wandering hands found his very eager penis. After a bit of oral sex, we reclined the seats and attempted to have sex. Once we both realized how uncomfortable we both were, we decided to get dressed and get into his car so we could go back to his place. Fortunately, all of the heavy breathing had fogged up the windows, so I'm pretty sure that the only thing the people in the city of Portland saw was a car rocking back and forth.
Granted, that last encounter was more due to a lack of ability to drive at the moment that things were going down, but every time I have found myself getting it on in a car I felt extra excited. One thing is for sure, you have to make sure to have tissue in your car, or just a towel, because it can get sweaty and a bit sticky in there.
Until next time, stay excited!
***If you have a story you would like to share please email me. Also, if you have any suggestions for future adult toy reviews, topics, or questions please feel free to post them in the comments section or email me at DilDosNDilDonts@gmail.com***
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Sex with Women
Sorry for the late post... but I hope you enjoy it!
I'm pretty sure that almost every woman would agree that the female shape, whatever your sexual orientation may be, is beautiful. Women are soft, curvy, and usually easy on the eyes. Now, I'm not saying that all women have lesbian tendencies, I'm just stating that there are many times when women find other women beautiful. I've always been attracted to women, but never really pursued anything with women until I was in college.
Most people would probably consider my sexual experience with a woman "experimenting" or a "phase", but I don't really think that's the case. I've been with only one woman, on more than one occasion, but it was only in college and I haven't had a female experience in a long while, not by choice, and to be honest, I really miss it. Sex with another woman is completely different from sex with men; it's soft, it's sexy, it's tender, and just all around great! Penetrating a woman, and being penetrated by a woman, allows for a balance in terms of sexual dynamics. You get to switch roles with being the dominant or submissive partner, which doesn't happen very often when having sex with men.
So how did I come about having this experience? Well, I already knew this person and was aware that she was out and active in LGBTQ groups on campus. We both ended up going to a fundraiser at a nightclub and just started dancing and rubbing up against each other. At the end of the night, we ended up making out quite a bit, and then we inevitably went home with each other. She didn't have a car, so I drove her to her place, where she proceeded to put on some music and take off my clothes. I swear that I felt like I couldn't keep my hands off of her. She was just so soft and beautiful, and I have never had those thoughts run through my head when I'm with men. We touched and kissed each other everywhere. It was the most sensual sexual experience I have ever had. After we were both done we just cuddled up with each other, had a bit of pillow talk, and fell asleep. The whole experience felt so right and so wonderful. We proceeded to hook up a few more times after that, and each time was just as soft and sensual, but it just sort of ended, and mainly because of me.
Looking back at that whole situation, I realized that she kept trying to get me to go out with her, and I would have, except that I was still trying to come to terms with my own sexuality. I feel bad that I sort of just "let things end" without really giving an explanation, but I think that because of that whole situation I haven't had another female experience. I know that I love women, and I also love men, and recently I've even found myself attracted to FTMs (female to male), but I feel like it's time to really explore my sexuality and make a strong effort to be with women. So watch out, ladies of San Francisco, I'm on the loose and looking for you!
Until next time, stay excited!
***If you have a story you would like to share please email me. Also, if you have any suggestions for future adult toy reviews, topics, or questions please feel free to post them in the comments section or email me at DilDosNDilDonts@gmail.com***
I'm pretty sure that almost every woman would agree that the female shape, whatever your sexual orientation may be, is beautiful. Women are soft, curvy, and usually easy on the eyes. Now, I'm not saying that all women have lesbian tendencies, I'm just stating that there are many times when women find other women beautiful. I've always been attracted to women, but never really pursued anything with women until I was in college.
Most people would probably consider my sexual experience with a woman "experimenting" or a "phase", but I don't really think that's the case. I've been with only one woman, on more than one occasion, but it was only in college and I haven't had a female experience in a long while, not by choice, and to be honest, I really miss it. Sex with another woman is completely different from sex with men; it's soft, it's sexy, it's tender, and just all around great! Penetrating a woman, and being penetrated by a woman, allows for a balance in terms of sexual dynamics. You get to switch roles with being the dominant or submissive partner, which doesn't happen very often when having sex with men.
So how did I come about having this experience? Well, I already knew this person and was aware that she was out and active in LGBTQ groups on campus. We both ended up going to a fundraiser at a nightclub and just started dancing and rubbing up against each other. At the end of the night, we ended up making out quite a bit, and then we inevitably went home with each other. She didn't have a car, so I drove her to her place, where she proceeded to put on some music and take off my clothes. I swear that I felt like I couldn't keep my hands off of her. She was just so soft and beautiful, and I have never had those thoughts run through my head when I'm with men. We touched and kissed each other everywhere. It was the most sensual sexual experience I have ever had. After we were both done we just cuddled up with each other, had a bit of pillow talk, and fell asleep. The whole experience felt so right and so wonderful. We proceeded to hook up a few more times after that, and each time was just as soft and sensual, but it just sort of ended, and mainly because of me.
Looking back at that whole situation, I realized that she kept trying to get me to go out with her, and I would have, except that I was still trying to come to terms with my own sexuality. I feel bad that I sort of just "let things end" without really giving an explanation, but I think that because of that whole situation I haven't had another female experience. I know that I love women, and I also love men, and recently I've even found myself attracted to FTMs (female to male), but I feel like it's time to really explore my sexuality and make a strong effort to be with women. So watch out, ladies of San Francisco, I'm on the loose and looking for you!
Until next time, stay excited!
***If you have a story you would like to share please email me. Also, if you have any suggestions for future adult toy reviews, topics, or questions please feel free to post them in the comments section or email me at DilDosNDilDonts@gmail.com***
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
First Date Sex!
Two weeks ago I posted a link, on the blog's Facebook page, to a post on Jezebel that commented on a report by MSNBC on how having sex on a first date is not necessarily a deal breaker for a loving, long-term relationship. I figured I would add my two cents to this and hope that some of you might be willing to share your opinions as well.
I would like to first start off by saying that everyone is different. Just because one has not found "the love of their life" yet doesn't necessarily have anything to do with the fact that you may or may not be putting out after the first or second date; it's possible that you probably have not found the right person. The report argues that love, like all other emotions, is related to brain activity and that sexual desire activates the same area of the brain that love does "... love and sexual desire both activate the striatum, showing a continuum from sexual desire to love." I know that this is true for most women.
When most women lose their virginity they are usually more emotionally linked to their partner, (If you're a woman reading this, please correct me if I'm wrong) and for the experiences that I have encountered, vicariously through girlfriends, this has been the case. On the other hand, you have people like myself that feel that sex can be meaningless and fun by detaching any emotions from sex, so as to not become emotionally involved with your partner. When I lost my virginity I did not feel like I wanted to be in a relationship with the person I lost my virginity to. I DID continue having sex with this person for a short period of time, but only until I found someone else to have sex with. But honestly, I think that I'm the exception and not the rule.
I have a long history of "hitting it and quitting it" when it comes to my sexual experiences. What exactly does that mean? For me, it meant that I would have sex with someone and would have no desire to have a relationship with my partners. A lot of the time this was due to not really knowing my partners (on a deeper, emotional level) and therefore feeling like I got all I could possibly be given by them, sex. The lack of attachment was even worse when I didn't get satisfied during the sexual encounter. In order for me to have that sexual desire be converted to "love", or at least a stronger attraction to my partner, I would need to get to know this person first and build up the sexual tension before sleeping with each other. This has happened to me a total of two times.
My first sexual/emotional experience was REALLY disappointing, mainly because of his performance (which lasted about 5 minutes or less). This ended up being a bit of a turn off, but I still kept pursuing him. After a second, and equally, disappointing short performance, I realized that I was not into having sex with this person, but I was still emotionally attracted to him because, by that point, I had already known this person for quite some time. My second experience was a lot more promising. Prior to having sex, we really got a chance to get to know each other. On a few occasions we even discussed what some of our fantasies and desires were, which led to kinkier sex and an all around better experience, which drew me even closer to this person. I'm not involved with either person anymore, but of the partners I have had, these are the two that "made the cut" to a potential relationship, at least in my head.
Maybe I'm just not wired correctly, where I don't feel an emotional connection with most people I sleep with, or maybe I'm more of a guy in that sense. It's almost as if for me it's about the chase; if you give it up to quickly then I'm immediately turned off from wanting to pursue any kind of relationship that was not just "fuck buddy". But if you held off and I got to know you, then the mystery of the potential emotional connection we could create from having sex would pique my interests even more and give you a fighting chance. Now a days, I feel like this is exactly what I'm trying to find. My "hitting it and quitting it" days are definitely over, and have been for about a year and a half now (it might have something to do with getting older). But I'm almost certain that even with my desire to be in a relationship, sleeping with someone on the first or second date would be a deal breaker for me.
Until next time, stay excited!
***If you have a story you would like to share please email me. Also, if you have any suggestions for future adult toy reviews, topics, or questions please feel free to post them in the comments section or email me at DilDosNDilDonts@gmail.com***
I would like to first start off by saying that everyone is different. Just because one has not found "the love of their life" yet doesn't necessarily have anything to do with the fact that you may or may not be putting out after the first or second date; it's possible that you probably have not found the right person. The report argues that love, like all other emotions, is related to brain activity and that sexual desire activates the same area of the brain that love does "... love and sexual desire both activate the striatum, showing a continuum from sexual desire to love." I know that this is true for most women.
When most women lose their virginity they are usually more emotionally linked to their partner, (If you're a woman reading this, please correct me if I'm wrong) and for the experiences that I have encountered, vicariously through girlfriends, this has been the case. On the other hand, you have people like myself that feel that sex can be meaningless and fun by detaching any emotions from sex, so as to not become emotionally involved with your partner. When I lost my virginity I did not feel like I wanted to be in a relationship with the person I lost my virginity to. I DID continue having sex with this person for a short period of time, but only until I found someone else to have sex with. But honestly, I think that I'm the exception and not the rule.
I have a long history of "hitting it and quitting it" when it comes to my sexual experiences. What exactly does that mean? For me, it meant that I would have sex with someone and would have no desire to have a relationship with my partners. A lot of the time this was due to not really knowing my partners (on a deeper, emotional level) and therefore feeling like I got all I could possibly be given by them, sex. The lack of attachment was even worse when I didn't get satisfied during the sexual encounter. In order for me to have that sexual desire be converted to "love", or at least a stronger attraction to my partner, I would need to get to know this person first and build up the sexual tension before sleeping with each other. This has happened to me a total of two times.
My first sexual/emotional experience was REALLY disappointing, mainly because of his performance (which lasted about 5 minutes or less). This ended up being a bit of a turn off, but I still kept pursuing him. After a second, and equally, disappointing short performance, I realized that I was not into having sex with this person, but I was still emotionally attracted to him because, by that point, I had already known this person for quite some time. My second experience was a lot more promising. Prior to having sex, we really got a chance to get to know each other. On a few occasions we even discussed what some of our fantasies and desires were, which led to kinkier sex and an all around better experience, which drew me even closer to this person. I'm not involved with either person anymore, but of the partners I have had, these are the two that "made the cut" to a potential relationship, at least in my head.
Maybe I'm just not wired correctly, where I don't feel an emotional connection with most people I sleep with, or maybe I'm more of a guy in that sense. It's almost as if for me it's about the chase; if you give it up to quickly then I'm immediately turned off from wanting to pursue any kind of relationship that was not just "fuck buddy". But if you held off and I got to know you, then the mystery of the potential emotional connection we could create from having sex would pique my interests even more and give you a fighting chance. Now a days, I feel like this is exactly what I'm trying to find. My "hitting it and quitting it" days are definitely over, and have been for about a year and a half now (it might have something to do with getting older). But I'm almost certain that even with my desire to be in a relationship, sleeping with someone on the first or second date would be a deal breaker for me.
Until next time, stay excited!
***If you have a story you would like to share please email me. Also, if you have any suggestions for future adult toy reviews, topics, or questions please feel free to post them in the comments section or email me at DilDosNDilDonts@gmail.com***
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
My "Best" Anal Sex Experience
Before I start writing about my "best" anal sex experience, I need to warn my readers that all of these events took place at a New Years Eve party, meaning that I was pretty inebriated. After everything was done and over with, I managed to piece most of what happened that night together, but not perfectly, so there might be a bit of inaccurate recounting of the story, but not on purpose.
December 31, 2006, a friend of mine, JC, along with his roommates, was having a big New Years Eve bash, and I have never been one to turn down a potentially awesome party, so I was in attendance with a case of beer in tow. The night started like most typical college parties I would go to commonly would; arrive and greet everyone I know with a hug and kiss, grab some alcohol, drink it way too fast, grab another drink and consume that one at a reasonable pace, all the while I talk to friends or make new friends with some of the other party goers. The music that was being played was lively and I found my self dancing most of the night to salsa, cumbia, merengue, Spanish rock, hip-hop. If I remember correctly, there was also a bit of live music being played by some friends who had formed a band, so this meant even more dancing.
After a lot of drinking and a lot of dancing, I got exceedingly horny. Earlier that night I had managed to drunkenly bond with my friend JCs uncle, who was in his late 20s/early 30s (I think), so I had a target for my end of the night debauchery. Once midnight hit, and I made out with a friend to ring in 2007, and then I proceeded to pounced on my "victim." We started off with some heavy making out, which then led to me propositioning him for us to "get it on" in the room; his nephew's room. As we started to undress I realized that I had forgotten that I was on my period. "Shit!", I thought out loud. After explaining the situation he said that that wouldn't be a problem for him. Unfortunately, for me it's a bit of a problem, especially in someone else's room. I quickly came to a solution, anal sex.
From what I remember of the actual sex, I definitely enjoyed it. I believe that all of the alcohol allowed for me to relax, while in return allowing him to enter my anus with ease. There was minimal pain involved, and PLENTY of clitoral stimulation, yay! Just so you are all aware, I didn't immediately remember this part of the evening, it sort of came to me with time as I was sobering up and trying to piece together what happened that night. From what I can remember we didn't try too many positions, we mainly stuck to two, doggie and cowgirl, probably reverse cowgirl, but two was all we needed that night. After the deed was done I DESPERATELY needed to use the restroom, and was about to walk out of the room naked. Fortunately, he wasn't as shit-faced-drunk as I was and convinced me to put on my underwear and his shirt prior to walking out of the room. Yes, that's how crazy that night was. Later on, we both got dressed and came back out to the party.
I ended up spending the night at my friend's place, I was in no condition to be driving that night. I woke up on the couch not remembering what had happened that previous night, or at least what happened in the room. One thing I did know, though, was that my anus hurt a bit. After talking to my friends about their recollection of the sequence of events, it dawned on me that I had anal sex and THAT was why my anus was hurting. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I understand how ridiculous that sounds, but I SWEAR that's how I managed to realize what had transpired the previous night. My friends and I laughed it off as I slowly began to remember bits and pieces of that night, and began to recover from my hangover.
Until next time, stay excited!
***If you have a story you would like to share please email me. Also, if you have any suggestions for future adult toy reviews, topics, or questions please feel free to post them in the comments section or email me at DilDosNDilDonts@gmail.com***
December 31, 2006, a friend of mine, JC, along with his roommates, was having a big New Years Eve bash, and I have never been one to turn down a potentially awesome party, so I was in attendance with a case of beer in tow. The night started like most typical college parties I would go to commonly would; arrive and greet everyone I know with a hug and kiss, grab some alcohol, drink it way too fast, grab another drink and consume that one at a reasonable pace, all the while I talk to friends or make new friends with some of the other party goers. The music that was being played was lively and I found my self dancing most of the night to salsa, cumbia, merengue, Spanish rock, hip-hop. If I remember correctly, there was also a bit of live music being played by some friends who had formed a band, so this meant even more dancing.
After a lot of drinking and a lot of dancing, I got exceedingly horny. Earlier that night I had managed to drunkenly bond with my friend JCs uncle, who was in his late 20s/early 30s (I think), so I had a target for my end of the night debauchery. Once midnight hit, and I made out with a friend to ring in 2007, and then I proceeded to pounced on my "victim." We started off with some heavy making out, which then led to me propositioning him for us to "get it on" in the room; his nephew's room. As we started to undress I realized that I had forgotten that I was on my period. "Shit!", I thought out loud. After explaining the situation he said that that wouldn't be a problem for him. Unfortunately, for me it's a bit of a problem, especially in someone else's room. I quickly came to a solution, anal sex.
From what I remember of the actual sex, I definitely enjoyed it. I believe that all of the alcohol allowed for me to relax, while in return allowing him to enter my anus with ease. There was minimal pain involved, and PLENTY of clitoral stimulation, yay! Just so you are all aware, I didn't immediately remember this part of the evening, it sort of came to me with time as I was sobering up and trying to piece together what happened that night. From what I can remember we didn't try too many positions, we mainly stuck to two, doggie and cowgirl, probably reverse cowgirl, but two was all we needed that night. After the deed was done I DESPERATELY needed to use the restroom, and was about to walk out of the room naked. Fortunately, he wasn't as shit-faced-drunk as I was and convinced me to put on my underwear and his shirt prior to walking out of the room. Yes, that's how crazy that night was. Later on, we both got dressed and came back out to the party.
I ended up spending the night at my friend's place, I was in no condition to be driving that night. I woke up on the couch not remembering what had happened that previous night, or at least what happened in the room. One thing I did know, though, was that my anus hurt a bit. After talking to my friends about their recollection of the sequence of events, it dawned on me that I had anal sex and THAT was why my anus was hurting. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I understand how ridiculous that sounds, but I SWEAR that's how I managed to realize what had transpired the previous night. My friends and I laughed it off as I slowly began to remember bits and pieces of that night, and began to recover from my hangover.
Until next time, stay excited!
***If you have a story you would like to share please email me. Also, if you have any suggestions for future adult toy reviews, topics, or questions please feel free to post them in the comments section or email me at DilDosNDilDonts@gmail.com***
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
My mom and the blog
I was going to post about anal sex today but a conversation
I was having last night made me decided to leave that for next week and write
about telling my mom about this blog. Whenever I go and visit my mom, I
sometimes bring up the topic of sex, not because I want to make her squirm, but
because I feel like this is a challenge for me. I have never been comfortable
talking to my mom about sex, particularly because when she found out I wasn’t a
virgin she started to cry. Needless to say that I was heartbroken and
exceedingly annoyed by her reaction, which resulted in me never wanting to talk
to my mom about sex, until I started the blog.
I have been trying to be as open as I can about the blog, including with my family. My mom, who is the most important member in my family, along with my grandma and aunt, is aware that I have a blog that revolves around sex, but she doesn’t know how personal I get with my
blog posts.
This past December, when I was visiting my mother in Los Angeles, I told her that I was going out to go watch a comedy show. What I failed to mention was that this comedy show was at the Pleasure Chest, an adult toy store, and that I was planning on purchasing a few items while I was there. When I got back from being out, I showed my mother what I purchased; a mini padlocked chest and Smartballs by Fun Factory (which will be reviewed next month). I began explaining to my mom that I was going to begin writing a blog. Well, first I had to explain what a blog is and how everyone would be able to read the content of my blog. The next step, which was a bit harder, was explaining what the actual content would be. As I began to explain that I would be reviewing adult toys, I could see my mom’s scowl just getting scarier. When I finished, she just looked at me in disgust. I have to admit that I felt a little heart broken, but mainly because I didn’t know that my mom would object so much to my use of toys. That’s right; her reason for not being pleased about the blog wasn’t necessarily that I was going to be writing reviews about these toys, but that I was masturbating and using toys. At that point I sat my mom down for a little talk about modern day women’s health and sexuality.
Explaining to my mother that masturbation is healthy is tricky, particularly because she’s a traditional Central-American female that was raised Baptist. I tried to make her relate to any sexual urges she might have had, or might still have, but I think that my mom is now asexual. This woman would just not budge. All she kept saying was that masturbation was disgusting and a lady should not do that; I might or might not have let out a burst of laughter after she said that. This is the woman that makes an entire room laugh with her dirty jokes. A woman whose humor is so crude that if you were to hear some of her jokes you would understand where I get it from, I’m sure that my cousins who read this can attest to that. Well, when trying to have a serious conversation with one’s mother it’s probably not good to laugh at some of the stuff they say. Either way, I digress. I tried to help my mom accept that masturbation was healthy, so I put things for her the following way; would she rather I sleep around with various men until I am sexually satisfied OR just masturbate and reach that sexual satisfaction without any worries of a condom breaking, potentially contracting STDs, or even worse, becoming pregnant. As badly as my mother wants grandbabies, she finally conceded, BUT that didn’t mean that she was happy that I was writing about this. I decided to just leave it at that, for the time being, but my pursuit to change her mind about sex has only just begun.
Until next time, stay excited!
***If you have a story you would like to share please email me. Also, if you have any suggestions for future adult toy reviews, topics, or questions please feel free to post them in the comments section or email me at DilDosNDilDonts@gmail.com***
I have been trying to be as open as I can about the blog, including with my family. My mom, who is the most important member in my family, along with my grandma and aunt, is aware that I have a blog that revolves around sex, but she doesn’t know how personal I get with my
blog posts.
This past December, when I was visiting my mother in Los Angeles, I told her that I was going out to go watch a comedy show. What I failed to mention was that this comedy show was at the Pleasure Chest, an adult toy store, and that I was planning on purchasing a few items while I was there. When I got back from being out, I showed my mother what I purchased; a mini padlocked chest and Smartballs by Fun Factory (which will be reviewed next month). I began explaining to my mom that I was going to begin writing a blog. Well, first I had to explain what a blog is and how everyone would be able to read the content of my blog. The next step, which was a bit harder, was explaining what the actual content would be. As I began to explain that I would be reviewing adult toys, I could see my mom’s scowl just getting scarier. When I finished, she just looked at me in disgust. I have to admit that I felt a little heart broken, but mainly because I didn’t know that my mom would object so much to my use of toys. That’s right; her reason for not being pleased about the blog wasn’t necessarily that I was going to be writing reviews about these toys, but that I was masturbating and using toys. At that point I sat my mom down for a little talk about modern day women’s health and sexuality.
Explaining to my mother that masturbation is healthy is tricky, particularly because she’s a traditional Central-American female that was raised Baptist. I tried to make her relate to any sexual urges she might have had, or might still have, but I think that my mom is now asexual. This woman would just not budge. All she kept saying was that masturbation was disgusting and a lady should not do that; I might or might not have let out a burst of laughter after she said that. This is the woman that makes an entire room laugh with her dirty jokes. A woman whose humor is so crude that if you were to hear some of her jokes you would understand where I get it from, I’m sure that my cousins who read this can attest to that. Well, when trying to have a serious conversation with one’s mother it’s probably not good to laugh at some of the stuff they say. Either way, I digress. I tried to help my mom accept that masturbation was healthy, so I put things for her the following way; would she rather I sleep around with various men until I am sexually satisfied OR just masturbate and reach that sexual satisfaction without any worries of a condom breaking, potentially contracting STDs, or even worse, becoming pregnant. As badly as my mother wants grandbabies, she finally conceded, BUT that didn’t mean that she was happy that I was writing about this. I decided to just leave it at that, for the time being, but my pursuit to change her mind about sex has only just begun.
Until next time, stay excited!
***If you have a story you would like to share please email me. Also, if you have any suggestions for future adult toy reviews, topics, or questions please feel free to post them in the comments section or email me at DilDosNDilDonts@gmail.com***
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Not all Rabbits are created equal
*Due to personal
reasons, which I posted about yesterday, I was not able to review a toy for
this week’s blog post. Instead, I asked a friend to lend a hand and write a
review of her own. She would like to keep her contribution to this blog anonymous,
so I’m posting this for her. Enjoy!*
My First Vibrator
I have never owned a vibrator before, mainly because I never
knew what I should purchase. There is such a variety of sizes, shapes,
functions, etc. that make it hard for a woman to choose. I ended up going to
one of those adult toy parties and that’s when my eyes were opened to vibrators
that I wanted to try. My friends told me that the orgasm you reach from a toy
is awesome, which convinced me to join in on the fun. My first toy was a small
bullet type vibrator, which did the job but not well. I wanted to have a
vibrator that was more like a real man, so I ventured out and purchased the “16
Function Super Rabbit Vibrator”. Boy was I in for a surprise!
I purchased the vibrator online so I wasn’t sure what to
expect. Imagine my surprise when I opened up the box and realized that this toy
that I purchased was HUGE. All I kept thinking about was how the online
pictures did this toy little justice; it was a bit intimidating. I immediately
started playing with the settings which in turn got me really anxious and
excited to try it out. I was sure that with 16 different settings I should be
able to experience the please my friends told me about. The first time I used
it, my friend was in control we enjoyed trying out all of the different
settings. I was able to climax fairly easily with this toy, but it wasn’t to
the level of greatness my friends boasted about. Maybe I was just missing
something.
This particular vibrator is made of a soft jelly material
and the shaft measures 7” long and 1.5” thick. The shaft contains spinning
beads and a rabbit with long ears that vibrates. For me, there were many cons
to this vibrator. I felt that this vibrator was too large and bulky which made
it hard for me to control it. Due to its length, I was barely able to reach the
buttons to change the settings. The length of the actual shaft was okay when my
boyfriend is using it on me, but other than that, it is too long for personal
use. The spinning beads are supposed to be for added pleasure, but if you ask
me it is like you are mixing cookie batter. They are so noisy it is too
distracting to use these settings. The rabbit feature that stimulates the
clitoris was just too long. I had to cut them and melt them to smooth them
over. I cut them because the damn ears were pinching the crap out of my clit. There
are a few pros to the vibrator, I can climax easily using only the rabbit
vibrating feature and I like the length of it. The vibrator is waterproof so
you can use it in the bath and shower, but I have yet to try it out.
Unfortunately, I would not purchase this toy again or
recommend it to anyone. It is too large, bulky, and the rabbit ears are too
long and I had to modify them.
NOTE: As you can see,
not all rabbits are created equal. A side by side comparison of the I-Vibe by
Doc Johnson and this vibrator shows that the ear length definitely does vary,
which is probably what added to the contributor’s discomfort, so this toy gets a DilDon't. Also, what
pleases one woman doesn’t always please another, so please keep that in mind when reading reviews.
***If you
have a story you would like to share please email me. Also, if you have any
suggestions for future adult toy reviews, topics, or questions please feel free
to post them in the comments section or email me at
DilDosNDilDonts@gmail.com***
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