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Wednesday, June 27, 2012

My "Best" Anal Sex Experience

Before I start writing about my "best" anal sex experience, I need to warn my readers that all of these events took place at a New Years Eve party, meaning that I was pretty inebriated. After everything was done and over with, I managed to piece most of what happened that night together, but not perfectly, so there might be a bit of inaccurate recounting of the story, but not on purpose.

December 31, 2006, a friend of mine, JC, along with his roommates, was having a big New Years Eve bash, and I have never been one to turn down a potentially awesome party, so I was in attendance with a case of beer in tow. The night started like most typical college parties I would go to commonly would; arrive and greet everyone I know with a hug and kiss, grab some alcohol, drink it way too fast, grab another drink and consume that one at a reasonable pace, all the while I talk to friends or make new friends with some of the other party goers. The music that was being played was lively and I found my self dancing most of the night to salsa, cumbia, merengue, Spanish rock, hip-hop. If I remember correctly, there was also a bit of live music being played by some friends who had formed a band, so this meant even more dancing.

After a lot of drinking and a lot of dancing, I got exceedingly horny. Earlier that night I had managed to drunkenly bond with my friend JCs uncle, who was in his late 20s/early 30s (I think), so I had a target for my end of the night debauchery. Once midnight hit, and I made out with a friend to ring in 2007, and then I proceeded to pounced on my "victim." We started off with some heavy making out, which then led to me propositioning him for us to "get it on" in the room; his nephew's room. As we started to undress I realized that I had forgotten that I was on my period. "Shit!", I thought out loud. After explaining the situation he said that that wouldn't be a problem for him. Unfortunately, for me it's a bit of a problem, especially in someone else's room. I quickly came to a solution, anal sex.

From what I remember of the actual sex, I definitely enjoyed it. I believe that all of the alcohol allowed for me to relax, while in return allowing him to enter my anus with ease. There was minimal pain involved, and PLENTY of clitoral stimulation, yay! Just so you are all aware, I didn't immediately remember this part of the evening, it sort of came to me with time as I was sobering up and trying to piece together what happened that night. From what I can remember we didn't try too many positions, we mainly stuck to two, doggie and cowgirl, probably reverse cowgirl, but two was all we needed that night. After the deed was done I DESPERATELY needed to use the restroom, and was about to walk out of the room naked. Fortunately, he wasn't as shit-faced-drunk as I was and convinced me to put on my underwear and his shirt prior to walking out of the room. Yes, that's how crazy that night was. Later on, we both got dressed and came back out to the party. 

I ended up spending the night at my friend's place, I was in no condition to be driving that night. I woke up on the couch not remembering what had happened that previous night, or at least what happened in the room. One thing I did know, though, was that my anus hurt a bit. After talking to my friends about their recollection of the sequence of events, it dawned on me that I had anal sex and THAT was why my anus was hurting. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I understand how ridiculous that sounds, but I SWEAR that's how I managed to realize what had transpired the previous night. My friends and I laughed it off as I slowly began to remember bits and pieces of that night, and began to recover from my hangover.

Until next time, stay excited!

***If you have a story you would like to share please email me. Also, if you have any suggestions for future adult toy reviews, topics, or questions please feel free to post them in the comments section or email me at DilDosNDilDonts@gmail.com***

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Anal Sex

Anal sex can either be a hit or a miss for most women. I know that for me it was more of a miss, but that didn't stop me from still making an effort to discover the joys in anal sex that some women had managed to encounter. Unfortunately, though, I came short of my anal discovery and have shied away from ever doing it, but might still be willing to give it another go.

Looking back at my anal encounters (I wonder if there’s a porn with that name), I realized that the reason for my dissatisfaction was the way my partners and I had gone about it. I have had anal sex with four different partners, and although they were all different in their sexual techniques, when it came to anal sex they all, with the exception of one, went about it the same way. First, they didn’t ask if we could have anal sex, they just started to slip it in until I stopped them and told them that they were about to go into the wrong hole. They would then stop and, after a short pause, ask if I would let them try to put in my anus. Starting things off in this manner definitely foreshadowed the negative experiences I have had with anal sex. 

Aside from first asking if I would be ok with anal sex, one thing that would have probably helped make these encounters a little more pleasurable would have been starting off with a bit of anal foreplay. Probably massaging the anus to loosen it up, and slipping in a finger or two, would have allowed for more loose sphincter muscles, as opposed to just easing the penis in, which tends to be quite a bit bigger than a finger. Another thing that would have made the experience more satisfying would have been to incorporate the use of a small anal toy to get the body used to having something inside the anus, which I intend on buying in order to give anal sex yet another chance. 

Other things that men need to understand when engaging in anal sex with a woman is that we women don't have prostrates, which is why it's not always pleasurable. For some women the pleasure comes in how different of a sensation it is, for others it's the position in which she is receiving anal that allows for her G-spot to be stimulated. One tip that I would give to men, aside from making sure that there is PLENTY of lube handy and to never go back into a girl's vagina after inserting the penis in the anus, is to make sure that they are simultaneously stimulating their female partner's clitoris while penetrating the anus (men on men action could probably use an extra tug for the bottom but I'm sure that the penis hitting the prostate is more than enough). The times that I engaged in anal sex there was no clitoral stimulation, and definitely not enough lube, which is another added reason to not enjoying it. Knowing what I do, and learning from my past experiences and mistakes, I feel that I might be ready to give anal sex another go, and I have high hopes for enjoying it. Who knows, I might even write about it. In the meantime, I'll tell you of my best anal sex experience that I have little recollection of... but not until next week's post. ;)

Until next time, stay excited!

***If you have a story you would like to share please email me. Also, if you have any suggestions for future adult toy reviews, topics, or questions please feel free to post them in the comments section or email me at DilDosNDilDonts@gmail.com***

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

My mom and the blog

I was going to post about anal sex today but a conversation I was having last night made me decided to leave that for next week and write about telling my mom about this blog. Whenever I go and visit my mom, I sometimes bring up the topic of sex, not because I want to make her squirm, but because I feel like this is a challenge for me. I have never been comfortable talking to my mom about sex, particularly because when she found out I wasn’t a virgin she started to cry. Needless to say that I was heartbroken and exceedingly annoyed by her reaction, which resulted in me never wanting to talk to my mom about sex, until I started the blog.

I have been trying to be as open as I can about the blog, including with my family. My mom, who is the most important member in my family, along with my grandma and aunt, is aware that I have a blog that revolves around sex, but she doesn’t know how personal I get with my
blog posts.

This past December, when I was visiting my mother in Los Angeles, I told her that I was going out to go watch a comedy show. What I failed to mention was that this comedy show was at the Pleasure Chest, an adult toy store, and that I was planning on purchasing a few items while I was there. When I got back from being out, I showed my mother what I purchased; a mini padlocked chest and Smartballs by Fun Factory (which will be reviewed next month). I began explaining to my mom that I was going to begin writing a blog. Well, first I had to explain what a blog is and how everyone would be able to read the content of my blog. The next step, which was a bit harder, was explaining what the actual content would be. As I began to explain that I would be reviewing adult toys, I could see my mom’s scowl just getting scarier. When I finished, she just looked at me in disgust. I have to admit that I felt a little heart broken, but mainly because I didn’t know that my mom would object so much to my use of toys. That’s right; her reason for not being pleased about the blog wasn’t necessarily that I was going to be writing reviews about these toys, but that I was masturbating and using toys. At that point I sat my mom down for a little talk about modern day women’s health and sexuality.

Explaining to my mother that masturbation is healthy is tricky, particularly because she’s a traditional Central-American female that was raised Baptist. I tried to make her relate to any sexual urges she might have had, or might still have, but I think that my mom is now asexual. This woman would just not budge. All she kept saying was that masturbation was disgusting and a lady should not do that; I might or might not have let out a burst of laughter after she said that. This is the woman that makes an entire room laugh with her dirty jokes. A woman whose humor is so crude that if you were to hear some of her jokes you would understand where I get it from, I’m sure that my cousins who read this can attest to that. Well, when trying to have a serious conversation with one’s mother it’s probably not good to laugh at some of the stuff they say. Either way, I digress. I tried to help my mom accept that masturbation was healthy, so I put things for her the following way; would she rather I sleep around with various men until I am sexually satisfied OR just masturbate and reach that sexual satisfaction without any worries of a condom breaking, potentially contracting STDs, or even worse, becoming pregnant. As badly as my mother wants grandbabies, she finally conceded, BUT that didn’t mean that she was happy that I was writing about this. I decided to just leave it at that, for the time being, but my pursuit to change her mind about sex has only just begun.

Until next time, stay excited!

***If you have a story you would like to share please email me. Also, if you have any suggestions for future adult toy reviews, topics, or questions please feel free to post them in the comments section or email me at DilDosNDilDonts@gmail.com***

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Not all Rabbits are created equal

*Due to personal reasons, which I posted about yesterday, I was not able to review a toy for this week’s blog post. Instead, I asked a friend to lend a hand and write a review of her own. She would like to keep her contribution to this blog anonymous, so I’m posting this for her. Enjoy!*


My First Vibrator

I have never owned a vibrator before, mainly because I never knew what I should purchase. There is such a variety of sizes, shapes, functions, etc. that make it hard for a woman to choose. I ended up going to one of those adult toy parties and that’s when my eyes were opened to vibrators that I wanted to try. My friends told me that the orgasm you reach from a toy is awesome, which convinced me to join in on the fun. My first toy was a small bullet type vibrator, which did the job but not well. I wanted to have a vibrator that was more like a real man, so I ventured out and purchased the “16 Function Super Rabbit Vibrator”. Boy was I in for a surprise!

I purchased the vibrator online so I wasn’t sure what to expect. Imagine my surprise when I opened up the box and realized that this toy that I purchased was HUGE. All I kept thinking about was how the online pictures did this toy little justice; it was a bit intimidating. I immediately started playing with the settings which in turn got me really anxious and excited to try it out. I was sure that with 16 different settings I should be able to experience the please my friends told me about. The first time I used it, my friend was in control we enjoyed trying out all of the different settings. I was able to climax fairly easily with this toy, but it wasn’t to the level of greatness my friends boasted about. Maybe I was just missing something.

This particular vibrator is made of a soft jelly material and the shaft measures 7” long and 1.5” thick. The shaft contains spinning beads and a rabbit with long ears that vibrates. For me, there were many cons to this vibrator. I felt that this vibrator was too large and bulky which made it hard for me to control it. Due to its length, I was barely able to reach the buttons to change the settings. The length of the actual shaft was okay when my boyfriend is using it on me, but other than that, it is too long for personal use. The spinning beads are supposed to be for added pleasure, but if you ask me it is like you are mixing cookie batter. They are so noisy it is too distracting to use these settings. The rabbit feature that stimulates the clitoris was just too long. I had to cut them and melt them to smooth them over. I cut them because the damn ears were pinching the crap out of my clit. There are a few pros to the vibrator, I can climax easily using only the rabbit vibrating feature and I like the length of it. The vibrator is waterproof so you can use it in the bath and shower, but I have yet to try it out. 

Unfortunately, I would not purchase this toy again or recommend it to anyone. It is too large, bulky, and the rabbit ears are too long and I had to modify them.

NOTE: As you can see, not all rabbits are created equal. A side by side comparison of the I-Vibe by Doc Johnson and this vibrator shows that the ear length definitely does vary, which is probably what added to the contributor’s discomfort, so this toy gets a DilDon't. Also, what pleases one woman doesn’t always please another, so please keep that in mind when reading reviews. 

***If you have a story you would like to share please email me. Also, if you have any suggestions for future adult toy reviews, topics, or questions please feel free to post them in the comments section or email me at DilDosNDilDonts@gmail.com***