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Thursday, July 26, 2012

Sex with Women

Sorry for the late post... but I hope you enjoy it!

I'm pretty sure that almost every woman would agree that the female shape, whatever your sexual orientation may be, is beautiful. Women are soft, curvy, and usually easy on the eyes. Now, I'm not saying that all women have lesbian tendencies, I'm just stating that there are many times when women find other women beautiful. I've always been attracted to women, but never really pursued anything with women until I was in college.

Most people would probably consider my sexual experience with a woman "experimenting" or a "phase", but I don't really think that's the case. I've been with only one woman, on more than one occasion, but it was only in college and I haven't had a female experience in a long while, not by choice, and to be honest, I really miss it. Sex with another woman is completely different from sex with men; it's soft, it's sexy, it's tender, and just all around great! Penetrating a woman, and being penetrated by a woman, allows for a balance in terms of sexual dynamics. You get to switch roles with being the dominant or submissive partner, which doesn't happen very often when having sex with men.

So how did I come about having this experience? Well, I already knew this person and was aware that she was out and active in LGBTQ groups on campus. We both ended up going to a fundraiser at a nightclub and just started dancing and rubbing up against each other. At the end of the night, we ended up making out quite a bit, and then we inevitably went home with each other. She didn't have a car, so I drove her to her place, where she proceeded to put on some music and take off my clothes. I swear that I felt like I couldn't keep my hands off of her. She was just so soft and beautiful, and I have never had those thoughts run through my head when I'm with men. We touched and kissed each other everywhere. It was the most sensual sexual experience I have ever had. After we were both done we just cuddled up with each other, had a bit of pillow talk, and fell asleep. The whole experience felt so right and so wonderful. We proceeded to hook up a few more times after that, and each time was just as soft and sensual, but it just sort of ended, and mainly because of me.

Looking back at that whole situation, I realized that she kept trying to get me to go out with her, and I would have, except that I was still trying to come to terms with my own sexuality. I feel bad that I sort of just "let things end" without really giving an explanation, but I think that because of that whole situation I haven't had another female experience. I know that I love women, and I also love men, and recently I've even found myself attracted to FTMs (female to male), but I feel like it's time to really explore my sexuality and make a strong effort to be with women. So watch out, ladies of San Francisco, I'm on the loose and looking for you!

Until next time, stay excited!

***If you have a story you would like to share please email me. Also, if you have any suggestions for future adult toy reviews, topics, or questions please feel free to post them in the comments section or email me at DilDosNDilDonts@gmail.com***

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

First Date Sex!

Two weeks ago I posted a link, on the blog's Facebook page, to a post on Jezebel that commented on a report by MSNBC on how having sex on a first date is not necessarily a deal breaker for a loving, long-term relationship. I figured I would add my two cents to this and hope that some of you might be willing to share your opinions as well.

I would like to first start off by saying that everyone is different. Just because one has not found "the love of their life" yet doesn't necessarily have anything to do with the fact that you may or may not be putting out after the first or second date; it's possible that you probably have not found the right person. The report argues that love, like all other emotions,  is related to brain activity and that sexual desire activates the same area of the brain that love does "... love and sexual desire both activate the striatum, showing a continuum from sexual desire to love." I know that this is true for most women.

When most women lose their virginity they are usually more emotionally linked to their partner, (If you're a woman reading this, please correct me if I'm wrong) and for the experiences that I have encountered, vicariously through girlfriends, this has been the case. On the other hand, you have people like myself that feel that sex can be meaningless and fun by detaching any emotions from sex, so as to not become emotionally involved with your partner. When I lost my virginity I did not feel like I wanted to be in a relationship with the person I lost my virginity to. I DID continue having sex with this person for a short period of time, but only until I found someone else to have sex with. But honestly, I think that I'm the exception and not the rule.

I have a long history of "hitting it and quitting it" when it comes to my sexual experiences. What exactly does that mean? For me, it meant that I would have sex with someone and would have no desire to have a relationship with my partners. A lot of the time this was due to not really knowing my partners (on a deeper, emotional level) and therefore feeling like I got all I could possibly be given by them, sex. The lack of attachment was even worse when I didn't get satisfied during the sexual encounter. In order for me to have that sexual desire be converted to "love", or at least a stronger attraction to my partner, I would need to get to know this person first and build up the sexual tension before sleeping with each other. This has happened to me a total of two times.

My first sexual/emotional experience was REALLY disappointing, mainly because of his performance (which lasted about 5 minutes or less). This ended up being a bit of a turn off, but I still kept pursuing him. After a second, and equally, disappointing short performance, I realized that I was not into having sex with this person, but I was still emotionally attracted to him because, by that point, I had already known this person for quite some time. My second experience was a lot more promising. Prior to having sex, we really got a chance to get to know each other. On a few occasions we even discussed what some of our fantasies and desires were, which led to kinkier sex and an all around better experience, which drew me even closer to this person. I'm not involved with either person anymore, but of the partners I have had, these are the two that "made the cut" to a potential relationship, at least in my head.

Maybe I'm just not wired correctly, where I don't feel an emotional connection with most people I sleep with, or maybe I'm more of a guy in that sense. It's almost as if for me it's about the chase; if you give it up to quickly then I'm immediately turned off from wanting to pursue any kind of relationship that was not just "fuck buddy". But if you held off and I got to know you, then the mystery of the potential emotional connection we could create from having sex would pique my interests even more and give you a fighting chance. Now a days, I feel like this is exactly what I'm trying to find. My "hitting it and quitting it" days are definitely over, and have been for about a year and a half now (it might have something to do with getting older). But I'm almost certain that even with my desire to be in a relationship, sleeping with someone on the first or second date would be a deal breaker for me.

Until next time, stay excited!

***If you have a story you would like to share please email me. Also, if you have any suggestions for future adult toy reviews, topics, or questions please feel free to post them in the comments section or email me at DilDosNDilDonts@gmail.com***

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Skipping a week

Hello readers. I would like to apologize for not posting anything this week. I have been swamped at work and have been bringing work home, which has allowed me to have enough time to take my dog out, eat, sleep, and shower, and not much room for anything else (I haven't even had a chance to masturbate lately). I will DEFINITELY be posting next week, but for the time being you will have to sit tight and wait.

In the meantime, stay excited!

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

SmartBalls, Keeping Your Vag Strong!

To my readers in the US, Happy Independence Day! To everyone else, Happy Hump Day!

Today I'm going to be reviewing FunFactory's Smartball Teneo Duo. This toy is meant to strengthen your Pubococcygeus muscle (also known as your PC or pelvic floor muscles) by forcing you to contract these muscles and give them a workout. In other words, it assists with you doing your kegel exercises by providing you with something to squeeze.

When I first got my Smartballs I was visiting my mom in Los Angeles and went to a sex shop for a comedy show, after which I decided to purchase a few things. I had been wanting some kegel exercise aides for a while, so I was really excited to buy these. Unfortunately, I had to wait a week before using them since I wasn't about to walk around with them inside of me while I was around my mom. As soon as I got back to Portland, where I was living at the time, I immediately unpacked my Smartballs, washed them with warm water and soap, applied some of the water-based lube that was included on the Smartballs, and then inserted them. I have to admit that I didn't enjoy them being inside me at first. I could feel them in there and if was a bit uncomfortable. I decided to just suck it up, leave them in there, and take my dog to the dog park, which was not a good idea.

While at the park I felt like I could barely walk because the balls were just not working that well for me, and I wasn't sure why. After about a half-hour, I went back home and took them out. As I was pulling the string to get the balls out, I realized that the last ball was not inserted all the way, which probably had a lot to do with my discomfort level. Either way, I sort of was not too happy with them and decided to put them away and get to packing, since I was going to be moving to the Bay area in a few days.

The second time I used my Smartballs, which was a few weeks after my first use, I changed things up a bit. The first thing I did was just insert the first ball. (Side note: FunFactory sells a Teneo Uno SmartBall if you're not planning on ever putting both of the balls in). I allowed my vagina to get accustomed to just having one ball in there while I squeezed my PC muscles. I did this for a bout 20 minutes before calling it a day with the Smartballs. This time, the experience was a lot more pleasant, but I had still not tried putting both balls in. I kept up this one Smartball regimen for about a week straight until I finally decided to woman up and give having both Smartballs in at the same time another try.

My second go at having both Smartballs inside of me went A LOT smoother. I didn't want to overwhelm myself, so I just had them inside for about a half-hour. The entire time I couldn't tell they were in there, but then again I was just sitting at home watching TV. The following day I decided to be a little more bold and wear them while I took the dog out for a walk. I have to say that it was the BEST dog walking experience I have ever had. Because the Smartballs are weighted they move around inside of you as you move, causing you to feel as if they will fall out and forcing your PC muscles to contract. Every now and then I could feel one of the balls hit my G-spot, which would constantly catch me by surprise in the most pleasant of ways.

One day, while I was getting ready to review the Layaspot, I decided to use my Smartballs while masturbating. This experience was stimulation overload. I didn't know why, and I didn't really care why, but my orgasm went everywhere in my body. Just as I was cumming my entire body began to twitch and spasm. Later on I realized that not only do the Smartballs strengthen your PC muscles so that your vagina can "hug" your male bodied partners when they are inside of you, but it also makes you extra sensitive, at least for me. At times I go a few weeks without using the Smartballs, and I have noticed that my orgasms tend to get a less and less powerful as time passes between my last use. Right now I'm trying to build up the courage to wear them while at work. When I do end up doing this I'll be sure to let you all know how that experience goes.

Yes, when I first used the Smartballs they were uncomfortable, and I was sort of turned off from wanting to use them again, but I am now a big believer in the power of the Smartballs and the benefits of kegel exercises. If I would have started this blog months ago I probably would have given this toy a "DilDon't", but with a little patience, and use with other toys, I am now giving this toy a resounding DILDO!!!

A quick caveat before I finish, the Smartballs are not intended for anal play. You should never insert any toys into your anus that does not have a flared end. The string at the end of the Smartballs feels a little too flimsy to me, and if you were to insert the Smartballs into your anus and then the string broke, there's a possibility that you might end up making a bit of an embarrassing trip to the ER in order to get them taken out.

Until next time, stay excited!

***If you have a story you would like to share please email me. Also, if you have any suggestions for future adult toy reviews, topics, or questions please feel free to post them in the comments section or email me at DilDosNDilDonts@gmail.com***