SmartBalls, Keeping Your Vag Strong!

To my readers in the US, Happy Independence Day! To everyone else, Happy Hump Day!

Today I'm going to be reviewing FunFactory's Smartball Teneo Duo. This toy is meant to strengthen your Pubococcygeus muscle (also known as your PC or pelvic floor muscles) by forcing you to contract these muscles and give them a workout. In other words, it assists with you doing your kegel exercises by providing you with something to squeeze.

When I first got my Smartballs I was visiting my mom in Los Angeles and went to a sex shop for a comedy show, after which I decided to purchase a few things. I had been wanting some kegel exercise aides for a while, so I was really excited to buy these. Unfortunately, I had to wait a week before using them since I wasn't about to walk around with them inside of me while I was around my mom. As soon as I got back to Portland, where I was living at the time, I immediately unpacked my Smartballs, washed them with warm water and soap, applied some of the water-based lube that was included on the Smartballs, and then inserted them. I have to admit that I didn't enjoy them being inside me at first. I could feel them in there and if was a bit uncomfortable. I decided to just suck it up, leave them in there, and take my dog to the dog park, which was not a good idea.

While at the park I felt like I could barely walk because the balls were just not working that well for me, and I wasn't sure why. After about a half-hour, I went back home and took them out. As I was pulling the string to get the balls out, I realized that the last ball was not inserted all the way, which probably had a lot to do with my discomfort level. Either way, I sort of was not too happy with them and decided to put them away and get to packing, since I was going to be moving to the Bay area in a few days.

The second time I used my Smartballs, which was a few weeks after my first use, I changed things up a bit. The first thing I did was just insert the first ball. (Side note: FunFactory sells a Teneo Uno SmartBall if you're not planning on ever putting both of the balls in). I allowed my vagina to get accustomed to just having one ball in there while I squeezed my PC muscles. I did this for a bout 20 minutes before calling it a day with the Smartballs. This time, the experience was a lot more pleasant, but I had still not tried putting both balls in. I kept up this one Smartball regimen for about a week straight until I finally decided to woman up and give having both Smartballs in at the same time another try.

My second go at having both Smartballs inside of me went A LOT smoother. I didn't want to overwhelm myself, so I just had them inside for about a half-hour. The entire time I couldn't tell they were in there, but then again I was just sitting at home watching TV. The following day I decided to be a little more bold and wear them while I took the dog out for a walk. I have to say that it was the BEST dog walking experience I have ever had. Because the Smartballs are weighted they move around inside of you as you move, causing you to feel as if they will fall out and forcing your PC muscles to contract. Every now and then I could feel one of the balls hit my G-spot, which would constantly catch me by surprise in the most pleasant of ways.

One day, while I was getting ready to review the Layaspot, I decided to use my Smartballs while masturbating. This experience was stimulation overload. I didn't know why, and I didn't really care why, but my orgasm went everywhere in my body. Just as I was cumming my entire body began to twitch and spasm. Later on I realized that not only do the Smartballs strengthen your PC muscles so that your vagina can "hug" your male bodied partners when they are inside of you, but it also makes you extra sensitive, at least for me. At times I go a few weeks without using the Smartballs, and I have noticed that my orgasms tend to get a less and less powerful as time passes between my last use. Right now I'm trying to build up the courage to wear them while at work. When I do end up doing this I'll be sure to let you all know how that experience goes.

Yes, when I first used the Smartballs they were uncomfortable, and I was sort of turned off from wanting to use them again, but I am now a big believer in the power of the Smartballs and the benefits of kegel exercises. If I would have started this blog months ago I probably would have given this toy a "DilDon't", but with a little patience, and use with other toys, I am now giving this toy a resounding DILDO!!!

A quick caveat before I finish, the Smartballs are not intended for anal play. You should never insert any toys into your anus that does not have a flared end. The string at the end of the Smartballs feels a little too flimsy to me, and if you were to insert the Smartballs into your anus and then the string broke, there's a possibility that you might end up making a bit of an embarrassing trip to the ER in order to get them taken out.

Until next time, stay excited!




***If you have a story you would like to share please email me. Also, if you have any suggestions for future adult toy reviews, topics, or questions please feel free to post them in the comments section or email me at DilDosNDilDonts@gmail.com***

Anal Sex

Anal sex can either be a hit or a miss for most women. I know that for me it was more of a miss, but that didn't stop me from still making an effort to discover the joys in anal sex that some women had managed to encounter. Unfortunately, though, I came short of my anal discovery and have shied away from ever doing it, but might still be willing to give it another go.

Looking back at my anal encounters (I wonder if there’s a porn with that name), I realized that the reason for my dissatisfaction was the way my partners and I had gone about it. I have had anal sex with four different partners, and although they were all different in their sexual techniques, when it came to anal sex they all, with the exception of one, went about it the same way. First, they didn’t ask if we could have anal sex, they just started to slip it in until I stopped them and told them that they were about to go into the wrong hole. They would then stop and, after a short pause, ask if I would let them try to put in my anus. Starting things off in this manner definitely foreshadowed the negative experiences I have had with anal sex. 


Aside from first asking if I would be ok with anal sex, one thing that would have probably helped make these encounters a little more pleasurable would have been starting off with a bit of anal foreplay. Probably massaging the anus to loosen it up, and slipping in a finger or two, would have allowed for more loose sphincter muscles, as opposed to just easing the penis in, which tends to be quite a bit bigger than a finger. Another thing that would have made the experience more satisfying would have been to incorporate the use of a small anal toy to get the body used to having something inside the anus, which I intend on buying in order to give anal sex yet another chance. 


Other things that men need to understand when engaging in anal sex with a woman is that we women don't have prostrates, which is why it's not always pleasurable. For some women the pleasure comes in how different of a sensation it is, for others it's the position in which she is receiving anal that allows for her G-spot to be stimulated. One tip that I would give to men, aside from making sure that there is PLENTY of lube handy and to never go back into a girl's vagina after inserting the penis in the anus, is to make sure that they are simultaneously stimulating their female partner's clitoris while penetrating the anus (men on men action could probably use an extra tug for the bottom but I'm sure that the penis hitting the prostate is more than enough). The times that I engaged in anal sex there was no clitoral stimulation, and definitely not enough lube, which is another added reason to not enjoying it. Knowing what I do, and learning from my past experiences and mistakes, I feel that I might be ready to give anal sex another go, and I have high hopes for enjoying it. Who knows, I might even write about it. In the meantime, I'll tell you of my best anal sex experience that I have little recollection of... but not until next week's post. ;)


Until next time, stay excited!

***If you have a story you would like to share please email me. Also, if you have any suggestions for future adult toy reviews, topics, or questions please feel free to post them in the comments section or email me at DilDosNDilDonts@gmail.com***

One Night Stand

What usually happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, unless you’re me and insist on letting people know way too much about your sex life.

In July of 2009, my cousin, whom I'll refer to as D, her friend, whom I'll refer to as E, and myself met up with my friend, R, and her group in Las Vegas, Nevada. I was there because we were celebrating my cousin's 22nd birthday. The first night we were there we met up with R who was staying at the Luxor. As we were getting ready to go out, R went down to the lobby to score us some wristbands to get into LAX nightclub for free and drink some free champagne. Prior to heading out to the club, we all started pre-partying in the room. Several tequila shots and mixed drinks in, we headed out for the night. If I'm not mistaken, we had a one hour window in which we were able to partake of the free libations. We each got a glass of champagne, toasted, and drank. It was some pretty cheap and nasty tasting stuff, but it was free, so we just continued to drink until we couldn't taste how awful it was. Within the time in which we were able to get free drinks, we must have consumed at least a bottle each.

The rest of the night is a bit harder to recall, so please bare with me on some of the facts. Whenever I discuss that evening with R and D we all agree that it was almost as if we were living out the movie The Hangover. One minute I was getting drinks for everyone and we were all dancing with guys and just having a general good time, the next minute I'm missing and R is freaking out because she doesn't know where I went. To be quite honest I don't really know how and when I left the club, but I do know that I ended up in the room of the guy I was dancing with. The moment I realized what was happening was when he and I were undressing to have sex. I recall taking off his clothes and going down on him, and then him reciprocating the act.One thing that I can vividly recall is this guy's gifted ability at cunnilingus; just thinking about how good he was is starting to make me a bit hot and bothered.

When we were done with the foreplay, the sex began. This person that I was about to sleep with, not only did he give great head, but was also very well endowed, I felt like I hit the jackpot with this one night stand. Whoever this person was, it was as if he knew what I liked. The sex was rough when it needed it to be, gentle in the end, and just fun and exciting all in between. I do feel that it's important to mention that we did use a condom. Also, after this experience, I proceeded to get tested just to make sure that I didn't get anything from this guy, which I didn't. Yay safety! After everything was said and done, I got dressed and attempted to figure out where I was and where D, R, and E were. Fortunately, R saw me from across the building and flagged me down. Needless to say, she was upset and tired, as was my cousin, who was probably more drunk than anything else. D, E and myself ended up catching a cab and heading back to our hotel to sleep it all out. D was the one that mentioned that the night reminded her of The Hangover, which was true, to a certain extent; I'm just glad I didn't end up locked up on a roof.

Oh, I almost forgot, after he and I were done with sex I sort of passed out, briefly, and later discovered that he took my cousin's camera, which I was holding in my boobs for safekeeping the entire night, and proceeded to take pictures of me lying naked. Unfortunately, D got a glimpse of those pictures; sorry about that. But she promptly deleted them and called me to tell me about it when she discovered them several weeks later. Unfortunately, I sort of told her that nothing happened, but that was because I had never done anything like this before. I was ashamed of what I had done, and felt like I couldn't really tell anyone. But in retrospect, I don't mind recounting this sexual experience. I consented to the sex, I was safe, and I still went and got tested after the whole experience. Regardless of what your sexscapades are or are not, the most important thing is your safety and your consenting to the sex.

Until next time, stay excited!



***If you have a story you would like to share please email me. Also, if you have any suggestions for future adult toy reviews, topics, or questions please feel free to post them in the comments section or email me at DilDosNDilDonts@gmail.com***