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Wednesday, March 28, 2012

My Bathtub and Me

Welcome to the first post of this blog! Before I get to the “down and dirty” I feel compelled to illustrate to my readers how this blog came to be, what this blog means to me, and how I plan to format the posts.

Everything first began with the simple idea of reviewing adult toys on a monthly basis, mainly because I wanted to expand my toy collection. From there it grew with the desire to include women’s health and sexual politics, particularly due to the state of the nation’s political discourse and the attack on women and the control of their bodies. Lastly, it grew with the desire to include some sexual autobiographical posts, which I’m hoping may serve as a therapeutic outlet and give me some insight into what I should probably work on in my own life. Who knows, maybe this insight into my sexual experiences might even help a few of you hold a mirror up to your own lives and help in identifying any changes that you feel compelled to make, or aspects of your own life that you feel may need to be worked on.

Before I move on to the “good stuff”, this first post is going to NOT be a review (I think I just heard a collective sigh of disappointment from my friends). Yes, I know, I’m sorry for the disappointment, but NEXT week’s post will be the first review, I promise. I have decided that every last Wednesday of the month will be an autobiographical post, the first Wednesday of the month will be a toy review, and every Wednesday in between I will touch upon various sex-related topics. I could have just started this blog next week, but I think that a post that lets you know a bit about me, even if it IS quite intimate, would probably be the best thing to do as an introduction to this blog. Now, on to the good stuff.

I don’t really know why, but I feel like I have had the libido of a teenage boy for as long as I can remember. The first time I discovered that touching myself “down there” was pleasurable was when I was really young. My first masturbation memory is of when I was about five years old. I remember being under the covers with my large teddy bear and grinding against it. My clothes were on, and I’m pretty sure that I had no clue what I was doing, but I knew that it felt good. At that moment, my mom walked into my room and yanked the sheets off from over me. She began yelling at me in Spanish and asking what I was doing. I’m pretty sure that what she really said was “¿Qué fregado estás haciendo?” which basically translates to “What the fuck are you doing?” After that yelling session I remember feeling shame. I adjusted my underwear, lowered my nightgown, and refused to look my mother in the eyes. Fortunately, just because I was made to feel shame doesn’t mean that I stopped listening to my body and what my body liked. As you can tell, I’ve always been a bit defiant and stubborn, just like my mom. Although, the only thing I wasn’t aware of was that such a thing as an orgasm existed, which means that I never knew how long to go for and I would stop before anything got really good.

A few years passed, and I got better at hiding when I would touch myself, so that I wouldn’t be discovered like I was when I was five. Then, one day, around the time that I was in middle school, I decided that I would take a bubble bath. I remember checking the temperature of the water and feeling how powerful the water felt coming out of the spout. At that moment, I made the decision to have that running water hit my womanhood. I stepped into the bathtub and prepped myself to have the water pleasure me. As I lay in the tub, spread eagle, with the water rising and the bubbles forming, I suddenly felt a warm and electric feeling rush through my entire body. I don’t know if this is entirely true, but as I recall that memory, I feel like that was probably the best, and hardest orgasm I may have ever felt. I had to hold back my moaning, so that I wouldn’t be discovered, but THAT was the first time I knew what it was like to have an orgasm.

For the longest time, after that experience, my “go-to” pleasure facilitator was the running water in the bathtub. Silly, I know, but it as an experience that I know I have never regretted. I can still hear my mom on the other end of the bathroom door yelling at me for wasting so much water. If only she knew how much of a waste it really wasn’t, at least not to my clitoris.

I became obsessed with the bathtub. I would try to bathe twice a day, if possible. I recall that at times I would get dirty on purpose just so that I could go take another bath. Alas, I did know that my mom was right, I REALLY was wasting water, but I eventually made my bathtub masturbation sessions more and more sporadic when I found my mom’s back massager. Unfortunately for me, it wasn’t the Hitachi Magic Wand; it was just a regular, cheap-ish back massager, but it got the job done. I didn’t actually own my first toy until I was in college, but I’ll touch upon that in next week’s post.

Now, I know that topics and stories like these are taboo to discuss, but mainly because I’m a female who is comfortable telling such stories. We are all sexual creatures, and some of us express our sexuality at an earlier age than others, and that’s not a bad thing. If anything, the repression of said sexuality is probably worse. I’m sure that I’ll come back to this topic in a future post; there is so much to say on that topic. Some of my family members will most likely disapprove of such a blog and will either refuse to acknowledge it or will give me quite a bit of crap about it. Likewise, though, others in my family, knowing me as well as they do, will welcome this with open arms. Either way, I will stand behind this blog and my intentions of it being a place for female expression, sex positivity, sexual liberation, and most importantly, a space to educate the masses.

 I hope you enjoyed my first post and continue to cum back for more. ;)

NOTE: Please feel free to post comments or email me suggestions for topics, questions, or specific toys you would like to see reviewed.  DilDosNDilDonts@gmail.com


  1. Replies
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  2. Well said Spam!! :D

  3. Screw telenovelas.....I'm staying tuned in for the next post! This is awesome Pam, great job!!! ~ A. Cruz

  4. So proud of u for standing up to society and going against the grain. U truly r an inspiration, u have my total support! Can't wait for the next post =D luv yah!

  5. Nice start with non traditional sex toy objects! i always thought masturbation like sex is creative! ;)

  6. woooo catracha!!!
    -your twat-

  7. *your favorite twat ;)

  8. I look forward to your posts. Its information and dialogue that needs to be out in the open. Great Job Pam.

  9. welcome to the blogging party. :D